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I turn off the lights, and I grab my summer coat. There’s a silly, content smile on my face, and I can’t get rid of it. Smolyakov will get around. He loves me. He’ll get on board with the new developments in my life.
As I exit my office, I crash into an unexpected body. I smell it before I see it.
Bergamot.
A peach silk pocket square is tucked neatly in the suit jacket’s pocket, with no patterns. The mahogany tie doesn’t match the pocket square. The suit is tailor-made, and you’ll rarely see this man outside of it. Even if you live with him.
Even if you wake up in his bed.
“Baby girl, give Daddy a hug. What are you standing there like this for?” I drop my bag at the sound of his voice, quivers taking over my body. My bag’s contents spill all over the floor. I work in a relatively private hospital area because I like privacy for my patients, so nobody sees me on my knees, scrabbling my shit together.
He doesn’t sound the same. His accent has faded, and I’m sure his mother would have had something to say about that.
My lipstick is by his leather-clad foot. I reach for it, and he steps on my fingers purposefully. “Give me a hug.”
I suck on my finger to soothe myself from the pain he’s caused me. I keep my gaze low, and I don’t rise to give him a hug. I doubt that I could keep my body upright at this moment.
“You haven’t changed,” he says.
It’s been five years, and I’m not as obedient as I once was. My reflexes don’t respond to his sharp voice. His enunciation cuts me open with its clarity. After all this time, I see him for what he is, an empty threat.
He hurt me and seeing him now, I’ve only now begun to realize how much.
“What do you want?” I hiss. My knees officially give out. I’m stuck on the floor. Fuck.
“Daddy.”
“Fuck off.”
“You fucked off,” he reminds me. The curse words sound foreign coming from his tongue. He’s disgusted by it, scrunching up his face. “You embarrassed me, our family. Why would you ever do that? What did I ever do to you?”
The lump in my throat doesn’t allow me to respond. I can’t force the words out.
“Is this your office?” he asks, pushing past me. I breathe hard, and I decide to power through it. I get up on my shaky legs, and I shut the door to my office, locking it. I can’t have any visitors right now.
I don’t feel like Ivy Lin in Hugh’s presence.
“I deserve an explanation as to why you disappeared, baby girl,” he says. His disinterested eyes scrutinize every corner of my office. “This is what you left me for?”
“You’re not special,” I tell him. My heart palpitates at my audacity to speak back.Good little doe.“This is my life now, and I love it. I have everything I ever wanted.”
“What are you saying?” he asks. I don’t buy his shocked visage. “You had everything in London. This is nothing. Garbage. I bet there’s gonorrhea everywhere in this hospital. How can you live here? It’s unapologetically nasty.”
“Why are you here? How did you find me?” I ask. I left Hugh while he was on his last business trip to Silicon Valley before the wedding. I’d been his fiancée for years, and when his mother died, we were bound to tie the knot. Of course, our marriage certificate would have been void in the UK. There was an entire plan of relocating to California.
I left, though.
And I haven’t looked back since. I don’t want this man to be in my presence. He irks the fuck out of me.
“I’m your daddy, baby girl. I knew you fled to Katantia the second you landed in this godforsaken place.” Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. His faint grin disgusts me.
“You’re not my daddy,” I insist, stepping behind my office for protection.
“Your legal papers say so. I adopted you when you were a little baby.” My thoughts spin at his disgusting words, and the shame I’d managed to hide away resurfaces.
Longingly, I gaze at the couch where Jordan usually sits. I crave him right now. I want him to protect me from this madman. It’s been five years, and I can see it clearer now.
I was a monster. I still am.
