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“You good?” She blinks uncertainly, thinking it over before giving me a gentle nod.
Good. Without a word, I pull the vest over her head and strap her up. I secure the straps under her arms, pulling at the vest to ensure it’s tight, and she’s comfortable. She looks hot in this. Her finger connects with my own vest and she looks up through her lashes at me. Lowering to my knee, I begin adjusting the lower straps at her waist. Her eyes fall to me and she bites her lip and tucks her long hair behind her ear, then flicks a look at the guys, frowning at them over my shoulder. Turning, I see them smiling widely. Arseholes. Shaking my head, I bring my attention back to her and take her hand, securing her finger in my grip. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the box and flick the lid open, her eyes flashing wide.
Surprise. Confusion. Hope. Each of these emotions flashes across her face, but it’s the fear that makes my heart stutter and clench. This ring is as good as a life sentence, one she doesn’t truly comprehend now. I know when she does, it will rock the shaky foundation we already have. It’s a huge diamond, a statement of ownership, and I waste no time sliding it on her finger.
Mine.
“We have a mantra: ‘Live by The Panel. Die by The Panel.’ It’s as sacred as the institution is. You are a part of us now.You take it to the grave, Avery,” I say with quiet warning, capturing her attention fully. My brothers murmur our motto, committing their loyalty to my girl. “I have no intention of asking for your hand. I’m taking it,” I quip, tugging her a little to me. Avery sealed her fate when she accepted our attraction and gave herself to me. Even if she showed full resilience, I’d never let her leave now. “This is as much for your protection as it is for my selfishness. Let me protect you, Avery.” Her lips press together and she chews the inside of her cheek, trying to suppress the girly smile I know is desperate to break free. What I don’t expect is the glisten of tears to fill her gaze.
“Those better be happy tears. I didn’t give you analarm cockfor nothing,” I whisper for her ears only, and she chuckles lightly. Standing, I look down at her, cupping her face. “Say something, Birdie.” For a moment, I think she is going to glance at my brothers. She’s nervous and I love that she seeks their approval, too, but her bright gaze stays affixed to mine. Her small hands tremble against my chest. I run a thumb across her lip, reminding her to speak.
“Live by The Panel. Die by The Panel,” she whispers, gripping my vest to steady herself.
Fuck me.
I was expecting a simple teary yes. Groaning, I drop my face to her and crush her lips with mine. She sighs, allowing me to breach her lips and then sweeps her tongue out to meet mine.
Ah, Birdie, you fucking crush me.
I always imagined my future wife would be a woman who was successful and had a hand in the business world, financially stable and established. It feels like a silly notion now. Helping my girl grow into the woman I know she can be makes this whole ordeal fucking worth every speck of fear in her eyes, because I can't wait to wash it away and see her prosper.
“I never thought I’d see the day,” Ryan huffs to my brothers.
Avery smirks and dips her head.
“Oh, come on now, we both know you’re not shy,” I whisper so quietly into her ear.
Seth appears in my periphery.
“I hope you can handle this fucker.” He nudges me away. I scowl at him and he grins widely, enjoying my anger. “Welcome to the family, Bluebird.” He lifts her hand, checking out the ring he snuck out to collect.
“I’m trying.” Her voice is soft, but her eyes are as hard as the rock on her finger as she looks at me.
I growl at his use of my name for her, but Avery looks overwhelmed with happiness. After spending most of my adult life bringing suffering and fear to the others, being the cause of that one emotion in her reminds me why I’m taking the helm from my father and reinventing The Panel. I plan to re-establish my grandfather’s morals and use my brothers’ influences to take us to the next level. She allows Seth to pull her in for a hug, and one by one, my brothers congratulate us before stepping away to give us the space to enjoy the moment.
“Are you sure? We hardly know each other. This is all so surreal,” she whispers. “I didn't ever think I could feel like this. Need someone like…” Her voice trails off before her eyes meet mine with a level of vulnerability in them that crushes my soul. He did that, battered her confidence, and held her back from taking what she really wanted. “Like... I need you. I’m not even sure it’s healthy,” she confesses, swallowing loudly.
I doubt my addiction to her is just as healthy, but I don’t plan to stop.
“Being a part of The Panel is a marriage in itself. You have no reason to not trust my level of commitment.” I wipe my thumbs over her cheeks and peck her lips. “I’ll worship you, Birdie. I just need you to trust in us to work out the rest. I don't need to know everything about you. Where’s the fun in that?”
She gives me a lopsided grin.
“I guess it’d be boring to know everything already.”
“We just need to get through today. Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” she utters with conviction, kissing me softly. She’s captured my ugly heart and killed it with her kindness.
“I’m going to spoil you rotten,” I whisper, to which she rolls her eyes.
“That's not why—”
“I know.” I cut her off, tapping the side of my finger over her lips, then I motion in the air, giving the guys the instruction to move out. “And that’s one of the reasons why you’re wearing this.” I lift her ringed finger. “Let’s go, Birdie.”
* * *
My father’sestate sprawls out before us, and Avery gasps at the sheer magnitude of it.
