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And, with a tattered gulp and face-twisting sorrow, she turned and ran.
She ran on swiftest feet, white hair streaming behind her like starlight.
She didn’t stop until she disappeared into the grasslands, the summer-ripened grass swaying in her haste.
The second she was gone, the gag and air-ropes vanished.
Leaping to my feet, I balled my hands, summoned my shadows, and sprinted after Runa.
I was nothing more than blackened wind, scattering the pieces of my broken heart behind me.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
. Runa .
I COULDN’T BREATHE.
I can’t breathe!
I ran and stumbled and coughed and sobbed and
could
not
breathe!
I can’t—
I can’t...
Tripping to a stop, I planted both hands on my thighs and bent over. My mouth opened wide as I sucked down lungfuls of burning air.
My spirit screamed.
The core of who I was tore itself apart with denials, refusals, disbelief...pain.
Pain of loss...
Of hope.
Of awful, awful truth that I was no longer free to make my own choices.
I’d never been free.
Always been forbidden and hidden and blind.
The ever-widening blackness inside me swallowed me whole. Every mistake, every heartache, every slip from whatever path I was supposed to follow leapt down my throat and choked me.
No one else had seen.
No one else had cared that the fire’s heatwaves had slithered out of the flames to tie tightly around my legs. My arms. My waist. My neck.
I’d become its puppet, its plaything, imprisoned by its whims.
No one saw me trying to get free.
No one saw me fighting an unseen foe all while Darro vanished, Zetas galloped around the clan, and Solin betrayed my trust by betrothing me to Aktor.
Aktor.
He couldn’t...he didn’t...it couldn’t be true.
Tears rivered down my cheeks as I struggled to breathe all over again.
Why hadn’t Darro tried to help?
Why had the fire bound me in place and forced me to agree with pledges that destroyed all my faith and killed me with such sickening heartache?
I’d wanted to scream, but the fire put words in my mouth—made me accept the terms of servitude, of matehood, of a bind that ripped through my blood and stopped my heart for an excruciating, terrifying moment.
Why had Solin done this to me?
The half-moon above glimmered brightly, refusing to give me answers. Its sterling light dappled on the ever-moving river as it washed quickly downstream. Little flashes of night-glowing fishes broke the surface, leaping for the luminescent fireflies skimming the top. Jewelled dragonflies ate the bugs the fishes missed, and frogs hidden by reeds sang their croaky song, adding layers upon layers to the dark serenade of night.
It was all too much.
Too loud.
Too alive.
A wolf howled.
I froze.
Was that Zetas?
Has she found Darro?
Where had he gone?
Why had he gone?
What did I do for him to forsake—
“Runa!” A faint breeze thickened behind me into denser, darker night.
I spun around.
I no longer heard the lullaby of life.
All I heard was my heart slamming into my ribs and blood gushing through my veins.
Darro stood with his lean, muscular chest heaving, his wolf pelt hanging precariously low on his hips, and hands balled into weapons at his sides. Zetas stood beside him, sleek and silver, her horn-crowned head low as if stalking prey.
“Runa...” He raised his hand, stepping toward me with agony staining his eyes. “You’re safe—”
“Safe?” I couldn’t fight my instincts to get away from him. My heart still bled. My tears still flowed. He’d left. And he had the audacity to say I was safe?
I wasn’t safe.
I’d never be safe again.
“How am I safe? I’m betrothed to a monster.” I tripped backward, shaking my head. “You left. You let them mate me to—” I choked and swiped angrily at my tears.
Was it truly his responsibility to save me from the Nhil’s customs?
Could I blame him for tonight when I was the one who wanted to go back?
This was my fault.
Yet I couldn’t stop the terrified, horrified blame from raging through me.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t forgive him.
I couldn’t forgive his disappearance all while my heart had pleaded for help.
He’d heard me when I’d glowed.
I know he did.
Our minds had linked. Our hearts had synced. We’d been one.
He’d felt my fear, and he’d protected me.
He’d cloaked me in his shadows, helped me snuff out my overpowering light, and his smoky eyes had etched with silver rings as he stared right into my spirit. It’d been a physical touch. An eternal promise that I would never be alone again.
Yet...he left.
He’d vanished when I needed him the most.
Another wash of tears choked me.
“Runa.” He winced and stepped closer, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. “I’m so sorry—”
“You left me!” I scream-sobbed.
“I didn’t.” He shook his head, his black, tangled hair shaking free a grass blade. “I will never leave you. Never.”
“But you did!”
“I was right there. I never moved. I never left, Runa.” His voice turned raspy. “I was trapped. Imprisoned by—”
“And you think I wasn’t?” I hissed. “Do you think I agreed to sacrifice my life into service? Agreed to mate him?”
