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I hope he can decipher my sincerity. I can’t dwell on it too long or I’ll send myself into a panic, imagining how disappointed I’ve made him, so I skip down to the last sentence of his message, letting his real name finally deposit into my memory bank.
WillDive4Plants:
Felix? ??
I wasn't expecting that. Two hours of my life scouring Fort Vanter residents on Facebook with LL initials. You suck, Sir ????
I erase and retype the last sentence thrice before finally hitting Send. I want him to get to know my personality so in the future when I’m being playful, he’ll be able to recognize it and not be offended or disappointed.
I try to ignore the fact that I’m already thinking of a future with him, when I’ve technically never even spoken a solitary word to the man.
When I just fucking learned his real first name.
RomanticSadistLL:
No Facebook. Those initials were out of frustration. I was like “fuck it” when I was starting the account and just hit a letter.
Oh, how badly I want to question what frustrated him while making his username, but I can actually feel the irritation coming off his message as if he’s sitting right next to me again, so I try to lighten the mood.
WillDive4Plants:
That "just hit a letter" thing really fucked with my FBI mission, Sir ????
His response doesn’t seem to be any lighter, but at least it’s not short and clipped sentences like the last one.
RomanticSadistLL:
And just know that it wasn't your displeasure that made you get your way. Forcing you to say Sir won't work. It's like the person above you forcing you to call them boss when addressing them, when they are obviously less intelligent, skilled, or deserving. Leads to disdain and the title itself becoming a form of mockery.
Well, my rookie mistake of forcing the Sir got you your name. Mission accomplished. You are free from using it. If you don't want to say it, then don't.
I want my flirty Gym Daddy back. I want to exorcise whatever is making him push me away. At least, that’s what it feels like he’s doing. It’s then I realize I crave the way he chases me, not like a depraved madman but with a stealthy prowl.
And my natural response is to fly into people-pleaser mode.
WillDive4Plants:
And FYI, reverse image search sucks a bag of dicktips too. But Google could tell me where you got your sunglasses, Sir ??
I fucking love how you KNOW that.
Like, you're real.
That right there is all the more reason to call you Sir.
I'm glad I didn't chicken out when I saw your pic, Sir. Something told me just to say fuck it and heart your pic.
Nope, you're stuck with it now. You earned it, Sir. You're going to get tired of hearing it, Sir. ??????? Lost puppy eager to please, remember, Sir?
He must get tired of my incessant notifications, because he finally puts me out of my misery.
RomanticSadistLL:
You'll know when you feel it. It's like knowing someone is the leader just because that's who they ARE. You WANT to follow them, because you know they will take you where you want to go, that they will have your back when you need it and pick you up when you fall. Carry you if they have to, and stand in the hole to get you out, even if it means they can't get out themselves. You'll know, because when you say it, type it, or think it, you will smile inside, and some of that breathless, shaky, heart-racing feeling will begin to sit just below the surface, because you know what saying it means, who I am, and what I can have you feel, and you’ll want me to do so.
“Fuuuck,” I breathe. I damn near send him a message saying “I want to sit on your face, please and thanks,” but my hands are thankfully too uncontrollable at the moment. When I can, I stick with honesty.
WillDive4Plants:
I’m all shaky again, Sir.
RomanticSadistLL:
I will never tire of hearing it from you. You can never use it enough. Use it at the front and end of your interactions. If you feel it, and it makes you quiver a little, it excites me to hear it from you when I know what it means to you as well.
WillDive4Plants:
So riddle me this, Sir.
I'm at the gym every single day. I'm attracted to literally no one. Maybe just jaded, because I spend 24/7 writing and reading about dreamy heroes no one can compare to. Yet I always, ALWAYS saw you and thought you were… ?????
Yeah. And then… I'm scrolling through the stupid sites and apps, frustrated beyond words because they're all douchecanoes… and boom! Your face. I recognized you immediately. Like, not this "why does he look familiar?" or "he kinda looks like….” No. It was "OMFG, it’s HIM.”
