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Now I called up that bond between us and showed him exactly how I felt.
Arren’s gruff disdain, always watching me in the castle, thinking I was a danger. I’d stuck my tongue out at him, then hurried off as he moved toward me, a jolt of fear in my stomach. He’d been the most terrifying of the Royals.
Arren’s enormous horned head in his dragon form, knocking any danger away from me.
Arren and I sitting in the grass, and the way he’d leaned against me as he confessed how he felt.
Arren as a monster, roaring at me and slamming himself against the bars of the cage. The way only I could bring him peace, fighting down my fear to calm him. I’d stroked his face as he rested his head in my lap.
I had been running from my feelings most of my life, pretending to be glib and careless. But I’d mourned so much. Loved and lost so much. The intensity of that pain had felt like it was too much for me to bear.
Now those feelings were weapons.
I flashed through the rest of my pain, looking for something else to hurt Zehr. My desperate ache whenever I saw a family laughing in a pub or walking together on the street. The sense of unworthiness that pressed in on me sometimes, so all-consuming that I couldn’t breathe.
I settled on pain that began with joy before it unspooled. Talisyn’s easy friendship. The warmth that flooded my chest when he grinned at me. The safety I felt when he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
The staggering loss I felt over Talisyn’s polite smiles and dutiful protectiveness. The surges of hope I felt when I thought I could restore his memories—and the bitter ache as I failed.
When I pulled my mind away from Zehr’s, he looked stricken.
I felt empty and aching and exhausted. I was tired of life being a battle.
For mere seconds, the Scourge king looked speechless.
“You don’t deserve me,” I said harshly.
“Oh?” His face returned to its usual inhumanly beautiful lines and knowing expression. “You’re going to get yourself worse than merely killed like Caldren, Honor. You’re going to end up bound to Ebba.”
I pulled my tunic down to show him the marks lit across my throat—his, and Jaik’s, and Caldren’s.
“I’m already bound to enough assholes,” I said. “I don’t think there’s any room for Ebba.”
He launched himself toward me, summoning the last of his strength in one desperate bid to capture me. I slid away into the shadows, leaving him grasping air. He landed on his knees.
“Honor!” He called after me, sounding fierce as ever.
But he couldn’t stop me.
No one could.
CHAPTER11
Honor
I shadow traveled backto the bone kingdom, hoping this was my last time. Hopefully my magic had recharged enough that I could heal Calla. I wished I could heal all the Scourge, but healing Arren had drained my power just as much as saving Caldren and Jaik.
Zehr’s bedroom felt empty without him.
The cage door stood open and was bent almost in two. My heart dropped, and I rushed to the window. I couldn’t see Calla amongst the crowd of Scourge.
“She’s gone,” Pedra said from behind me. “The other Scourge tore the cage open to help her.”
“How nice,” I said. “How do I find her?”
Pedra shrugged. “There’s more of them than ever before. If I were you, I’d focus on what you need to do next. Not one Scourge.”
“She’s not just one Scourge, she’s my friend.”
