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I blinked rapidly and nodded my head because I knew it was Westin. I did. Honestly. But the panic had set in, and I couldn't breathe.
His fingers soothed where he held my wrist. "You're okay. You're okay, Nissa."
I shook my head. "I am not okay, clearly."
He released me, his eyes sharp and intent. His voice was gravelly when he asked, “You needed something to put you to sleep?”
“Yep. I figured the hot chocolate was worth a try."
"I think there are some marshmallows in the pantry. Let me get them for you."
It wasn't what he said, but how he said it. His voice was already low, but fresh from sleep, it sounded like there was an added growl to it. The sound made me pulse in places I shouldn't be thinking about with him. "Y-you don't have to do that."
"Well, you're up and I'm up, so we both might as well have some hot chocolate together. Or are you trying to enjoy mini marshmallows without me?"
I bit my bottom lip. Despite my best efforts, he was actually pretty decent at making me smile.
When he turned back his gaze studied me. “You look flushed, Nissa."
I laughed under my breath as he placed the mini marshmallows on the counter. "I'm not flushed. Besides, you can't tell that. It's too dark."
"I can tell. Even here in just moonlight, I can tell your pupils are a bit dilated. You're panting softly. And while you're brown, I can tell from just touching your cheek." He raised a hand up and brushed his knuckles over my cheekbone. "You're warm. See? Flushed."
"That's cheating. You had to touch me to know for sure.” Every word out of my mouth sounded breathy.
"Oh, trust me, I'm hyperaware of everything that you do. I know."
"Are you now?"
He nodded once. While he didn't move, I felt like he was suddenly closer, invading my space somehow. "I am indeed."
"And why is that?"
He chuckled under his breath and got two mugs from the cabinet. "Haven't you figured out by now? I'm aware of everything that you do. There isn't a move that you make that I'm not instantly aware of."
I cleared my throat. "I don't know what that means."
"What it means is the other night wasn't some fluke. But you and I, it's a bad idea. I have a job to do, and I need to do it well. You are a complication I do not need, but I can feel the connection between us, and it is bloody impossible to ignore. I want you. I wish I didn't. I wish I could fall asleep without feeling you pulse against my cock.”
I swallowed hard. “What am I supposed to do with that?”
“Why can't you sleep, Beauty?”
I swallowed hard. “I'm just thinking.”
“You're thinking about me. I'm thinking about you. Let me be clear… All I do is think about you. The words I have to describe you are spunky, loudmouth, know-it-all, bloody pain in the arse. But guess what? Because of all those things I like you a whole hell of a lot. You keep me on my toes. But none of that changes how much I crave you. I have my orders, Nissa, and that makes these desires impossible to follow down the path I wish we could take.”
Somehow in the time he said all of that he had moved closer. So close I felt the heat of his body. I could smell the sandalwood and spice fragrance that was him. A manly essence that made me want to lick him all over.
I swallowed hard and nodded. “I get it. I do. I don’t want any complications. You work for my father.”
“That I do. But Nissa, listen to me closely. Where the paycheck comes from doesn't change how I feel or how much I thirst for more of you.”
My whole body hummed. I involuntarily swayed toward him. I knew what was good for me. I knew what the safer outcome was, but I still felt the pull and I couldn't ignore it. I wasn't strong enough to change trajectory off a collision course with Westin St. James.
He moved to stand directly in front of me and leaned in, bracketing his arms on either side, pushing me to rest farther into the counter. I just looked up at him, my body immediately relaxing in the cocooned safety of his arms.
"Tell me, Nissa. Tell me what you need. You want me to help you get to sleep tonight? Is that what you want, Beauty?"
