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"That snow globe was my souvenir from that trip. Lenora picked out a pair of earrings.”
The tears brimming in her eyes made me want to say something to soothe them away, to make it better.
Careful there. Do not touch her again.
"I'm sure she misses you every day."
She nodded, and the emotion in her gaze was too much for me, but I didn't want to run away from it back into my room. "Um, do you want to get out of here? Maybe grab a pint? You’ve had a long couple of days."
"Careful now, Westin St. James. Are you trying to be my mate now?"
I shrugged. "It’s better than being enemies, yeah?"
She glanced down at the globe and then flickered her gaze back to meet mine. "Yeah, a drink actually sounds nice. But you're buying."
She set the globe on her bookshelf, and then we both grabbed jumpers to head out for a pint. That voice at the back of my head tried to warn me.
This is dangerous. You know better. This is not a road you can travel down. If you do, it's all going to blow up in your face.
I should have listened. But that voice was the harbinger of doom, and for a couple of hours tonight, I wanted to pretend doom was not impending.
23
Nissa
Up until this point I'd been able to convince myself that Westin was a stranger, that there hadn't been a point in my life where I had known him inside and out. That once, long ago, he hadn't been my everything.
But now, sitting across from him, looking him in the eyes, it was impossible to ignore. This was him. The man who had walked away from me four years ago. And the air was permeated with the things that we didn't say to each other then and the things that we couldn't say to each other now.
“It seems that neither of us knows what to say,” he murmured quietly.
“That's the understatement of the century.” But I couldn’t resist. “Where did you go after you left four years ago?”
He shook his head. "I—" He sighed, his eyes grave, and his handsome face now a mask. “I wish I could tell you, but I can’t.”
The bite of disappointment stung. “Of course you can’t.”
He sat forward on his stool with a look of grim determination. “Just know that I thought about you all the time. And I wished I could come back, but I knew Julian would make it impossible. So I stayed away.”
“You ended up right back here in the end though, didn’t you?”
His gaze was hot on mine. As if trying to communicate something to me with just the gravity of his expression.
“No one’s ever left and come back.” It was true. I never saw anyone return to my father’s employ. There were some old guys who had been with him since I was a girl, but I’d never seen anyone leave and come back.
Westin continued. “It wasn’t planned. The mere fact that he found me and hasn’t killed me yet tells me he needs me for something. Or maybe he knows I’m the only one he can trust when it comes to you. I will always do what’s best for you.”
“You can see how that’s hard for me to believe, right?”
“Nissa, I—” He ran his hand through his hair. “I have no right to ask for your forgiveness. But please, know that if I could have, I would have come back for you.”
The worst part about all of this was I wanted to believe him. Everything about him said I could trust him. That I should trust him.
But he abandoned you.
“I know we can't go back. But can we start over,” he said hopefully. “Maybe I don't deserve that. And maybe until I can explain more, I have no right to ask. But right now, we both have to be here and I'd like to call a truce.”
I could keep fighting him. I had a lot of pent-up anger, but I was tired. I’d already fought so hard, and I didn't want to keep fighting. And maybe, just maybe, he wasn't the enemy after all.
