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“Yes, you are!” I roar, my voice thundering in my tiny apartment.
She whirls around, eyes wide at my tone. I doubt she’s ever heard me this angry before.
“Sorry. I…” I pause, taking a moment to collect myself before speaking again, this time much more calmly.
“When you first asked me to sleep with you, I thought you were this amazing woman who had the confidence to go after what she wanted, to hell with what was expected of her. It made me want to say to hell with what was expected of me. In fact, it was what made me finally take a risk and accept your proposal, regardless of what was right. When you agreed to continue seeing me, despite the risks, I thought maybe you were willing to do something for yourself. To break from tradition and make a stand.”
I approach her, eyes on fire, a boulder in my throat over the prospect of her walking out of my life and never looking back.
Of her actually not loving me.
“Where’s that woman? The woman who stood up for herself?”
She meets my gaze, remaining the put-together princess she was groomed to be. “That woman isn’t real. She’s merely a fantasy you concocted. Nothing more. Now if you’ll excuse me, Jameson is expecting me.” She starts to turn from me.
“Of course.” I throw my hands up. “Keep running away, Esme. It’s what you always do, isn’t it? Whenever things get real, you return to what’s comfortable. To what’s the least risky. But at least I know I tried. That I fought for what I wanted. For you. That I did everything I could to make you see that I don’t care about all the reasons we could never be together. That I’d willingly walk away from everything. All. For. You.”
“But I’d never willingly walk away from everything for you. I’m second in line to the throne. And you…” Her voice briefly catches before she takes a deep breath, composing herself once more. “You’re just the hired help.”
Her statement lingers in the air for a beat. Then she spins on her heels and hurries out of my apartment, slamming the door behind her.
Of all the things she could have said, that hurts the most. I could deal with her claiming she doesn’t love me. That she doesn’t think I’m worth the risk.
But to hear her call me the hired help feels like she grabbed the sharpest knife and plunged it directly into my heart.
All summer, I’ve struggled with feeling like I don’t belong. That I don’t deserve someone like Esme.
She just confirmed I don’t.
That I never will.
That no matter what I do, it will never be enough.
I will never be enough.
Chapter Forty-One
Esme
I stare at the walls of my father’s conference room Monday morning, all the usual suspects sitting around the large table, discussing a plan of action regarding the “incident”, as they now refer to what happened the other night between Hayes Barlow and Jameson.
Truth be told, I haven’t paid much attention to what was being said in the media. It’s been business as usual, more or less.
Except for the part of my daily life where Creed Lawson paid me a visit.
That most certainly hasn’t been business as usual.
And I hate it.
Hate that every time I sit at my desk, I’m reminded of the many times he bent me over it and gave my body more pleasure than I thought I could handle, all while telling me how amazing I was. How needy he was for me.
No man ever made me feel the things Creed did.
And I fear no man ever will again.
I’ve tried to tell myself it’s for the best. Our carelessness has already put Creed’s future at risk.
Was a few more weeks of amazing sex really worth it?
