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I’ve tried not to think about it, choosing to live in the present instead. But I’m not sure how we’ll be able to steal moments like this once we’re back under the watchful eye of my protection team, led by Creed’s older brother. Not to mention the royal household and the public at large.
It was difficult enough to keep our early morning rendezvous a secret from everyone, especially Jameson. Luckily, he only caught me out of bed once, and since Creed and I waited until four each morning, I told Jameson I got up to watch the sunrise. Claimed it was one of my mother’s favorite things to do when she came here and it made me feel closer to her.
He offered to join me, but thankfully said he understood when I declined his offer, allowing me a few hours alone with Creed as we welcomed the dawning of a new day.
Now that I’m heading back to the real world, where my days will be filled with public appearances, barely a minute set aside for my own needs, I don’t know how Creed and I will make this work.
“What are you thinking about?” Creed asks lazily as he runs his hand along my hipbone, kissing the top of my head.
In the past week, I’ve been treated to so many of Creed’s kisses. His lust-filled, desperate kisses. The more tender, emotion-filled kisses. And the playful ones, too. Despite all that, these are my favorite.
It’s such an innocent gesture.
But the way his lips linger turns it into something so intimate.
“Today,” I answer on a long sigh.
He’s silent at first. Then he pulls me closer, wrapping his arms even tighter around me.
“Me, too.”
I lift my eyes to his. “Where do we go from here?”
“What do you mean?”
“When we started this, I was out of the spotlight.”
“And now that we’re going back, it won’t be as easy.”
“It will be a lot riskier. A lot more dangerous. Especially for you.”
“I know.” He cups my cheek, pulling my lips to his. “But you know what they say, don’t you?”
“What’s that?”
“The greater the risk, the greater the reward.” He smiles, but I don’t return it.
One of us needs to keep their head on straight. Normally, Creed plays that role. But over the past week, he seems to have lost all sense of reason, at least when it comes to me.
“But also, the greater the fall,” I remind him.
His expression sobers, eyes brimming with sincerity. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Even if it’s just for a little more time together? Mere weeks?”
“A few more weeks is better than nothing.” His lips move against mine, the taste of him as addicting and intoxicating as it was the first time he kissed me. “I’m not foolish enough to think we’ll be able to sneak away like we have been. We’ll just need to find a reason to see each other.”
“I could always ask Harriet or Marius to help,” I offer. “Not sure how they’ll feel about allowing us to use either of their places as a sex pad, though. Not sure I want to put them in that position.”
“It would only be a matter of time until someone caught on.” He shakes his head, lips pinched. “If we’re to avoid suspicion, a legitimate reason is best. Something we can tell your protection team and private secretary.”
I rest my head against his chest and play with a few tendrils of hair, allowing the gentle music of his heartbeat to settle the unease that mounts with every passing moment. When I’m with Creed, I no longer have any need to do my counting exercises. Instead, just being near him chases away the anxiety I’ve dealt with after a lifetime of being made to feel like nothing more than a circus performer. Something the public comes to gawk at without a single regard for the fact I’m trapped in a life I don’t want.
A life I don’t control.
Over the past week, I’ve regained some of that control. It may be fleeting, but Creed’s given me an opportunity to explore my needs and desires without even a hint of judgment.
For the first time in my life, I’ve felt…free.
