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For me, too.
I didn’t want it to be. Wanted to keep things easy. Casual. Superficial.
Wanted to keep all emotion out of it.
Now I realize it was a foolish plan.
Marius and Harriet tried to warn me this might happen. That I could resist all I wanted, but the heart can’t be controlled or reasoned with.
And when I fall over the edge with Creed, pulling him closer as I ride wave after wave of one of the most intense orgasms of my life, I’m faced with the truth that my friends were right.
The heart can’t be reasoned with.
At least my heart can’t.
Not when it no longer belongs to me. Instead, it belongs to the man holding me and whispering sweet words as I fall asleep in his arms for what I fear may be the only time.
And that makes this entire scenario hurt more than I thought possible.
Regardless of what I want, what my heart wants, it doesn’t matter.
Not when my fate was sealed the second I was born.
Part Three
Legacy
No legacy is so rich as honesty.
~ William Shakespeare
Chapter Thirty-Four
Creed
“Lieutenant Lawson.” Hawkins jumps up from his desk the second he sees me pass on my way to Esme’s office. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I apologize for not calling ahead, but a last-minute issue came up I need to discuss with Her Highness. Considering the shower’s tomorrow, I thought it best to catch her before she leaves for tonight’s event. It won’t take long.”
I smile, acting as nonchalant and innocent as possible.
Even though the things I’ve been doing to Esme these past few months have been anything but innocent.
Thankfully, all the time we spent together under the guise of planning a shower for Adam and Rory never raised any eyebrows. Because we wanted it to be a surprise, everyone knew to keep it a secret from Adam. Even the General of the Royal Guard himself was in on it. Made sure to give Adam other responsibilities that would take him away so Esme and I had time to plan.
At least, in their minds, that’s what we were doing.
While we did put together what I hope to be a wonderful celebration for a great couple about to welcome a child into their lives, it certainly didn’t require us to see each other as often as we have.
Even on days we weren’t slated to meet, her schedule too hectic to put aside any meaningful length of time, I often stopped by her office, pretending I needed to discuss something regarding the shower. Such as choosing a place setting. Or a theme. Or the menu. All things we could have handled over email. But considering our time together is short enough as it is, I used any excuse I could to see her.
Like today.
Especially today.
Because tomorrow, it will become much more difficult to find an excuse to see each other in private. Harriet and Marius have offered the use of their townhomes, but I know Esme’s hesitant to agree, not wanting to put a strain on their friendship.
Since her birthday, I’ve been dying for another night with her, especially with my induction date just three weeks away.
