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“Noooo,” I said, emphatically shaking my head. I didn’t want to hear this.
He only paused for a moment at my outburst before continuing. “It can cause tender breasts, increased appetite, cramping, fatigue, moodiness, spotting, and especially nausea like one would experience with pregnancy. Those home tests are unreliable at best. You’re not pregnant now, nor have you been at any point recently because we would’ve detected it.”
“Go,” I said, and closed my eyes to block them from my sight.
I didn’t reopen them until I heard them all leave. When I opened my eyes, the tears that had formed and lingered just under my lashes came out in a torrential flood. They streaked down my cheeks, leaving a burning trail in their wake. I sobbed a few times, each one gripping me more than the last. I had thought I was pregnant. That very thing was what had put the wedge between Nazario and me. It was also what sent me to the Catalanos and put them back on his radar. It was the reason I had lost everything in my life, and now I was finding out it was all for nothing.
The sobs grew louder as I cried for a child that never was, as well as a life I had lost. Nazario would be furious at me for what I did to that doctor. I had no idea what was in that syringe, so I didn’t even know if he was even still alive. I might’ve taken a man’s life, and for nothing. I had wanted to take Stefano’s and was prepared to take others to accomplish that, but not innocent men like the physician.
My actions had also caused the jealousy, and whatever else, that was driving Nazario to strike the Catalanos, and I had heard that one of them died. His death was on my conscience now, and the ache in my chest only worsened. The room began to spin, and I was certain I was seeing stars, especially when I bolted upright in bed. This had to be some bad dream. Was I still in my car? Or was this some nightmare I would wake up from?
I yanked the IV line from my wrist and didn’t even care about the blood dripping from the spot where the needle had been. “I have to get out of here,” I kept telling myself as I ripped away the leads attached to my chest and arm, which caused the nurse to rush back inside.
“Miss Spataro, what are you doing?”
“I have to leave,” I told her, as I desperately tried to find my clothes. I was in nothing more than a gown and hospital issued socks.
“You really should be resting,” she tried to tell me, and I jerked my arm away from her as he tried to grab me. “If you don’t lay back down, I will have to get the others to help me restrain you.”
I couldn’t allow that to happen, and submitting to her in a different, yet similar way, as I did with Nazario, I finally nodded. “No needles or machines,” I told her.
“Okay, just calm down,” she told me as she led me back to the bed. She helped me get settled, then mentioned something about the doctors.
I waited for her to leave the room, and once she did, I got back out of bed and found the clothes I had been wearing when I arrived. Thankfully, my purse was also there. After grabbing my wallet and sticking it inside, I was ready to go. In addition to residual soreness, I was still shaken up from the accident, but otherwise okay. I got dressed, then peered through the crack in the door. Something was going on because I saw my nurse, as well as several others including doctors rush down the hallway. I bided my time and eventually when the melee had settled, I slowly made my way out and disappeared down the hallway, but in the opposite direction.
I took the stairwell instead of the elevator and was thankful I only had to go down the stairs instead of up, and slowly descended them floor by floor. I managed to also rid myself of the bracelet and when I reached the ground floor, I kept my head down and left out of one of the side entrances. There were multiple taxi cabs lined up against the curb and it reminded me a lot of New York City and the fateful trip I had taken there a decade earlier.
I didn’t know exactly where I intended to go, only that I couldn’t go back to the home I shared with Nazario. I also couldn’t go back to Palermo knowing I was the reason one of them had died. By now, there was probably an all-out war between the Catalanos and the Vaccaros, so it was best that I head elsewhere. The first step would be to get away from this hospital so I rushed to the nearest cab.
“Where to?” the man asked once I was in the backseat.
I opened my purse, and seeing my passport, I forced a smile. “Capodichino Airport.”
It was also known as the Naples International Airport, and international was what I sought. I needed to get out of Italy, and from there, I could decide my next steps. I had no idea what country, or even continent, I planned to fly off to, only that I would decide when I got to the airport.
A half hour later, I was standing in the lobby of the airport and scanning the upcoming flights out of this place. There were so many places I could go like Dubai, Sydney, Los Angeles, Rio de Janeiro, London, Paris, and then it hit me. The only way it could’ve been more obvious would’ve been if it was flashing red and in bold letters. I quickly moved to the ticket agent.
“May I help you?”
“I need a seat on the next flight to New York City.”
She input the flight information in the system and rattled off the available seat selections. Choosing the one in business class, I scanned my credit card, then took my ticket toward the ADR line. Once I cleared security and was at my terminal, I could finally breathe again. My flight was set to start boarding within the next fifteen minutes. It still didn’t stop me from being paranoid. I was on full alert as I watched everyone closely that passed me. I didn’t trust any one, or any thing. All that I had thought about myself and others was wrong. The rose-colored glasses had been removed and this world was even darker than I had ever imagined.
I heard the call for first and business class, so I stood up. I was starting to feel the heaviness in my limbs, and the pain from my accident. I had no idea what kind of injuries I had suffered in the car crash, but I couldn’t care or worry about them at the moment. I needed to push through and get away from Italy. I had returned a broken girl before, but now, I was leaving a mere shell of myself. I had no further business in Italy. I didn’t have any in other places, either.
The magnitude of it hit me by the time the plane lifted off. Before, I had been excited about this trans-Atlantic trip and I had chattered excitedly with Donna. Today, I would be all alone, and instead of looking forward to something bright, I would only see the dark. In a way, it was cathartic to return to the scene of the crime, knowing it would be the scene of another death one day soon. It would be the scene of mine because I had made sure Stefano Vaccaro died, even if I hadn’t ultimately pulled the trigger myself. I had promised neither Donna, nor anyone else, anything more, so I could finally end this tragically beautiful chapter of my life.
I closed my eyes as Nazario entered my vision. He’d infuriated me, yet also awakened something inside of me. He also cruelly gave me hope for a future, then ripped it away. The physical pain he delivered in the name of pleasure was nothing compared to the mental kind nearly suffocating me right now. I’d never feel his mouth or hands on me again... Or, his cock pushing inside of me. Most of all, I’d never experience the pleasure only he could bring me. As another few tears fell, I realized he was my very first in a way.
I’d lost my virginity to Andrea Catalono, but it hadn’t been for my own pleasure. It’d been an obstacle to clear as I furthered my agenda. I certainly didn’t feel pleasure when with Stefano unless imagining his death. With Nazario...
“Ever since you walked back into my life, all I can do is think about the ways I want to ruin you. You’d break so beautifully, but then again, you already have for him.”
He wanted to break me, but had been sure his father had beaten him to it. I mouthed his name upon realizing it’d always been him. He broke me over and over, and now the pieces were so small and so plentiful, I could never be put back together again.
NAZARIO
It took a while to get through the bureaucratic red tape and find out which room she had been taken to. Once I knew, I headed straight there, but when I walked into what was supposed to be her room, the damn thing was empty. I stood there and covered my face with my hands. Viviana was gone. Of course, she wouldn’t stay in a place like this unless...
