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“Maybe this guy tomorrow could be your Carter. They work together and they’re friends.”
“And Carter is also friends with Patrick. I think I still might come home.”
“I’m not stopping you, Bee. Just don’t make any rash decisions while you’re not thinking straight again.”
“I’ll try.” I pulled my blanket up to my chin again. “Is it really cold there too?”
My mom laughed. “I’m only two and a half hours away from where you are. Of course it’s cold here.”
“It feels like I’m on another continent.”
“Maybe I should come up for a visit. I’ve never gotten to see your place.”
I looked around the empty room. Patrick had taken all the furniture except for the mattress and the small table set in the kitchen. I didn’t want my mom to see where I lived. She worried about me enough without seeing my living conditions. “Soon. I’ve been slammed at work recently.”
“Okay. Well, keep me updated if things change. I’d love to come up for the weekend. Just us girls. I can crash on your couch. It’ll be fun.”
I don’t have a couch. “Mhm. That sounds great. I’ll keep you posted. I should probably get some sleep. I have a long day tomorrow.”
“And a sexy date at night.”
I laughed. “Of course.”
“Call me to tell me all about it. And text me when you get in tomorrow night. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”
“Marie and Carter already promised me that he wasn’t a serial killer.”
“Most serial killers don’t go around telling people they’re serial killers.”
“I know. I’ll text you.”
“Goodnight, sweetie.”
“Night, Mom.”
Chapter Four
Bee
I pulled on a pencil skirt and my nicest blouse. Kendra was right. I needed to pitch my ideas at the meeting today if I ever wanted Mr. Ellington to really listen to me. Looking nice gave me a boost of confidence. I slid on a pair of stilettos. Normally I’d wear flats to work. Especially when it was so cold outside. But today I almost wanted the extra height. As if being taller somehow made what I had to say in the meeting more believable.
I looked down at the dress on my bed that I had picked out for my date later. It was sophisticated. When I met Patrick in college, I had been wearing cutoff jean shorts and a tank top. I didn’t want to attract another guy like him. Sophisticated was good. I bit my lip. Or maybe I just didn’t even want Mason to like me. I was sabotaging myself.
I tried to dismiss the thought as I grabbed my winter jacket and pulled it on. My date wasn’t until eight. I’d have time to come back and pick out another outfit if I wanted. I rushed out of my apartment and down the stairs. The elevator had been broken for months. I wasn’t sure if it was ever going to be fixed. But I had tackled these stairs in heels before.
The rush of cold air when I opened the door chilled me to the bone. It didn’t matter what my mom said. Delaware never seemed this cold. Maybe the wind was stronger, pushing through all the sky rise buildings. I stared at the ground as I made my way to the subway. If I couldn’t see any homeless people, I couldn’t give them the rest of my money. My mom wouldn’t just abandon the idea of visiting me soon. And if she wanted to visit, I needed to save up to buy a couch. I would have tried to get a roommate, but that didn’t exactly work in a studio apartment. Besides, the idea of getting a roommate I didn’t know freaked me out too much. And the idea of moving into a different apartment freaked me out even more. My small apartment was the closest thing I had to a home right now. Even without Patrick in it.
I got onto the A train. I thought it would be fun to people watch on the subway. But it wasn’t. There was no one as depressing as someone on the subway going to work. Everyone looked so sad and tired. It was like everyone in the city was depressed and in serious need of uppers. I couldn’t judge them though. I had become one of them. I’m sure anyone who looked at me could see the sadness in my eyes. I wasn’t even sure who I was anymore. But whoever I had become was the kind of person who would pitch her ideas unasked at a meeting. And I was going to finally get noticed. I just wanted one stupid thing in this stupid city to go my way for once.
The subway screeched to a stop and I squeezed past the people pushing their way on. I walked up the stairs back into the cold wind and looked back down at the ground. If I got a promotion and a raise, I could start giving money to homeless people again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man sitting on the curb outside of my office building. He was wearing tethered clothes, hugging his knees to his chest, shivering. I can’t. I grabbed a few dollars out of my purse and placed it into his hand.
“Thank you.” He looked up at me.
“You’re welcome.” I smiled and walked into the warmth of my office. Maybe being able to give money to homeless people and not feeling like I was going to starve if I did, was a good motivator for the meeting today. I stepped onto the elevator. Right before the doors closed, Kendra walked in.
“Hey, Bee. Has your maybe turned into a yes yet?”
“Actually, I can’t tonight.”
