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I pulled his face back to mine. A second later, I felt the warmth of him spread up into my stomach. It was my new favorite feeling in the world. He groaned into my mouth as he found his release.
He didn’t need to tell me when to come tonight. I was already at the tipping point, and him losing control was enough to tip me over the edge. I was panting when he placed one last kiss against my lips.
His chest slowly rose and fell as he stared down at me. I tried to search his face. But he didn’t look like he had just confessed that he loved me. He looked like he had when he had first come into the office, except even more relaxed. Maybe he was a little drunk. Or maybe I had imagined him saying it.
* * *
I slowly opened my eyes. We were in Mason’s bed and my head was on his chest. God, I love you. I knew he said it. I heard him say it. Maybe he hadn’t meant to. But I liked it. I wanted him to say it again.
I lifted my head and stared down at him. Do I feel the same way? Do I love him?
I swallowed hard. He didn’t do relationships. Kendra had warned me to be careful, but I had completely ignored her. It was like I had jumped onto a sled and the hill in front of me was icy. There was no way to stop. Mason had a way of pulling me into the present. He didn’t seem to care about the past or the future. I wasn’t worried when I was with him.
But I still didn’t know him that well. I accidently called his apartment home and he accidentally said he loved me. We hadn’t even talked about whether or not we were exclusive, let alone all of that. He could be seeing someone else. I tried to dismiss the thought. We had spent every night of the past couple weeks together. If he was seeing someone else, he wasn’t seeing them very often. And he had said he loved me. Mason Caldwell loves me.
What am I doing? Patrick had used me. As a face for his work functions. As an idea maybe. I didn’t even know anymore. But he had stopped loving me. I was worried that Mason was using me for a different reason. For the things that Patrick had paid someone for.
Mason and I did more than have sex, though. He made me laugh. Like, water coming out of my nose laughing. He made me happy. And that’s why I was scared. I didn’t want to lose him. But if he did think women were expendable, how much time could I possibly have left? I reached up and touched the side of his face. He had scruff on his face and I liked how it felt rough against my palm.
He shifted in his sleep and I immediately moved my hand away from his face.
He yawned and opened his eyes. He smiled when he saw me staring at him. “I like waking up to you.” He grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of him.
I laughed and put my hands on either side of him on the mattress. I wanted to talk to him about how I was feeling, but I didn’t want to scare him away.
“Hey,” he said and put his hand on the side of my face. “Is everything okay?” He was so sweet. And it made my stomach churn even more.
“You don’t do relationships.”
He sighed and put his hands behind his head. He stared at me for a second before saying, “I haven’t in a long time, no.”
“So what does that make me?”
He smiled. “Mine.”
I laughed. “Seriously, Mason, what are we doing?”
“Enjoying each other’s company.”
“Right.” I smiled but I felt like crying. Right now we were enjoying each other’s company. And when that changed, we were done. When he decided I wasn’t fun anymore. I liked when he called me his. I liked the way that sounded way too much.
“Bee, I really like you.”
“I really like you too.”
He reached up and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Then what’s the problem?”
“Are you going to get bored with me?” As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I sounded so childish. Of course nothing lasted forever. I knew that better than anyone. I wasn’t sure what I even meant with that question. He’d get bored with me eventually, just like Patrick. I wasn’t enough.
“That’s what you’re worried about?”
“I’ve just never done anything like this before.”
“Like this?” He raised his eyebrow at me. “What do you think we’re doing?”
I laughed. “I don’t know.” I put my hand on his hard chest. I just needed to ask him. “Are you seeing anyone else?”
“No.”
