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“Hirable. Oh!” Kendra stood up and ran into her bathroom. She ran back out and tossed me a tube of lipstick. “Do the whole red lip classic thing. Guys dig that too.”
“Is this how you landed your first advertising job?” I untwisted the lipstick from the tube and applied it.
“A girl never kisses and tells. Just kidding. Maybe. It’s Valentine’s Day, though. It wouldn’t hurt to be a little flirtatious. Guys get sentimental about this holiday too, you know. He’ll probably hire you just for batting your pretty eyelashes at him.”
I smacked my lips together. “I’m not doing that. How do I look now?”
“Perfect. Drool worthy. I can’t wait to hear how it goes.”
“I think I’m going to get it.” I made sure my notebook was in my purse before heading to the door. “Wish me luck!”
“You’re not going to need luck.” She winked at me.
I’m glad she was so confident in me, because I was getting nervous.
Chapter Sixty-Five
Bee
It was hard focusing on the words written in my notebook. I was distracted by the thought of talking to Mason later. His words had hurt me. But with each day that passed, they stung a little less and I just missed him more and more. He had been partially right about me. I wanted to move on from Patrick when I had met him. I had been a little easy. Maybe a lot easy. I shook my head. I didn’t see why any of that mattered, though. It didn’t take away from how I felt right now.
I just needed to make him listen to me. I didn’t care that he had stolen my idea. I didn’t care that he had pushed me away. He was stopping by Kendra’s every night waiting for me to show up. Clearly he realized he had made some mistakes too. But maybe tonight wasn’t the best time to do that. I didn’t want his judgment to be clouded just because it was Valentine’s Day. Or maybe that would help my case. A little extra nudge toward romance never hurt anyone? Says the girl that’s been burned.
I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the words in front of me. Getting this job would be great. Having a good salary would be great. But I’d still feel empty if I didn’t have him.
I turned to the page I had written about fairytales. Maybe I’d pitch that idea today during my interview. Then I wouldn’t have to separate out the thoughts of Mason rolling around in my head. My missing him would just make the pitch even more sincere. And it was appropriate considering the holiday.
The subway came to a stop. Normally it was jam-packed during my morning commute, but in the middle of the afternoon it wasn’t crowded. I didn’t have to shove through anyone getting off. The past few weeks before running away, I had been sharing a cab to work with Mason. If we could work through things, it was still going to be different. He’d be staying home and I’d be heading to work by myself back on the subway. I loved those cab rides. The way he kept his hand in mine and squeezed it whenever he wanted for me to look over at him. Not that he had to do that very often. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him.
I walked up the steps and lifted my shoulders, bracing myself against the cold wind that rushed toward me. If I did get this job, I wondered if any of my former coworkers would throw me under the bus and tell the new boss I was just a lowly secretary. I’d definitely have to prove myself.
I ducked my head down as I walked past a homeless person sitting on the curb. Today I didn’t even have a penny to give him. I grabbed the handle of the door I never thought I’d be going through again. I still couldn’t believe Mr. Ellington had been fired. I liked the new boss already.
My heels made that annoying clicking noise as I made my way toward the elevator, but it was better than the sound of my beating heart. I could feel it in my bones. This was the turning point.
When I stepped off the elevator, I was amazed by how different the office already looked. The Kruger Advertising sign was gone, and there were people painting the office a pretty shade of light blue. It already seemed more cheery. A large reception desk had been put at the front of the office and a woman was there organizing some papers behind the desk. I really hoped I wouldn’t be working alongside of her. Not that she didn’t seem nice. I just couldn’t do that again.
I walked up to the woman. “Hi, I’m Bridget Cowan. I’m here for an interview.”
“Oh, yes.” The woman sifted through the papers. “Bee Cowan? Is that it?”
“Yes.” I smiled. Kendra must have told them I preferred to be called Bee. I already felt a little more comfortable. I tried to focus on my breathing so that my pulse would be tricked into slowing down.
“He’s expecting you. You can just take a seat right over there and I’ll let him know you’re here.” She gestured to her left and picked up the phone that was on her desk. There were a row of soft looking chairs and a plush couch outside of Mr. Ellington’s old office. They were all empty.
“Thank you.” I walked over and sat down on the chair farthest away from the office door. My desk that had been right outside Mr. Ellington’s office was gone. I vaguely wondered what had happened to the picture I had left behind. Patrick and my smiling faces were probably sitting in a dump right outside of the city. I ran my thumb along the spot where my engagement ring once sat. When Mason had said I should just run back to Patrick, not even a small part of me considered it. There was nothing to run back to. All I’d be doing was running away, and I didn’t want to run away from Mason.
I looked down at my hand. For a while there had been a small tan line where my engagement ring used to sit. It was almost gone now, like all the evidence of Patrick and my relationship would soon be gone. And the thought was terrifying. Not because of Patrick, but because of Mason. I didn’t want Mason to become a distant memory. I’d regret that for the rest of my life. I had been thinking more and more about what my mom had said. Without a doubt in my mind, Mason was my great love. Was not answering his calls a mistake? Had I already lost him too? Maybe Valentine’s Day was getting in my own head.
I needed to focus. I pulled out my notebook and opened up to a random page, but the words didn’t seem to make any sense. Focus.
The receptionist walked over. “He’s ready to see you now.” She gave me a small smile.
I’m not ready. Shit. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest.
She opened up the door to Mr. Ellington’s old office and gestured for me to enter.
“Thank you,” I said over my shoulder as she closed the door behind me. I swallowed hard and turned around. My throat made a small squeaking sound when I saw him.
