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Mason Caldwell was sitting behind a new desk, where Mr. Ellington’s old desk had been, with a smile on his face. No, he was standing and walking toward me.
“Mason.” I could feel all the emotions from the other day coming back. But mostly I felt the warmth wafting off of him. His warmth was the only one that could seem to make the cold disappear.
“I wasn’t sure you were coming back.” He had stopped right in front of me. He didn’t reach out for me or try to kiss me.
But I still felt warmer than I had all week. “I meant what I said, Mason.”
He scratched the back of his neck. “I know I’m an asshole.”
“No. I mean, I love you.” There, I said it without sounding like I wanted to rip his head off. That was better right? Would he believe me now?
He lowered his eyebrows slightly. “I need to talk to you.”
I bit my lip. “I’m so sorry about everything I said, Mason. The only thing I said the other day that was true was that I loved you. I love you so much.”
He closed his eyes for a second as though what I was saying hurt him. When he opened them, he didn’t lock his eyes with mine again. “Can you take a seat?”
He still didn’t believe me. Or maybe he didn’t want to hear it. He still wasn’t touching me. I couldn’t stand the distance between us. I walked past him and sat down in a chair in front of the desk.
I heard him sigh. Instead of going around to the other side of the desk, he sat down in the chair beside mine and grabbed my hand. Finally. I felt the familiar spark ignite through my hand.
“You bought Kruger Advertising?”
“For barely anything, yeah. I’m just going to tell you everything from the start okay? I just need you to listen and not get upset. Promise to let me say everything I need to say?” He ran his thumb across my knuckles.
I nodded.
“This is everything. The good, the bad, the in between. And I bet you’ll want to take back what you just said after you…”
“I won’t.”
He shook his head. “I don’t go on blind dates, Bee. Actually, I don’t go on any dates at all. I wasn’t interested in a connection, in the whole romance thing. Just sex. That’s it. That’s all I wanted.”
“I know.”
“Carter and Marie were pretty insistent. I kept saying no. I keep my private life and work separate. All they knew was that I was single and that you were too. I knew you were wondering why the hell they would set you up with me that first night. But it’s just because they didn’t know me. It had nothing to do with whether you’re easy or not, which you aren’t. But they offered me Knicks tickets if I agreed. I’d get to go to a game and possibly get lucky? It sounded like a fair deal to me. So I said yes. I never expected someone like you to show up.”
“Someone like me?”
“You took my breath away, Bee. But I only have one move. I mean,” he shrugged, “plenty of moves to get to an end point. I wanted to fuck you. That was it. That’s always the end game for me. And when you drove off in that taxi, it just made me want you even more. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I kept telling myself it was about the sex. Just getting to have you. It was more than that, I know that now, but I was fighting with myself about that. Instead of accepting that I actually had feelings for you, I made it some sick game in my head. I knew you were damaged. I mean, not damaged, that was the wrong word. But wounded, you know? From what happened with Patrick. So I took things slow for the ultimate prize. You.”
“That’s why it was so hard for me to read you. You kept changing. You were brash yet kind. You were so confusing. But that doesn’t change the way I feel about you now.”
He cleared his throat. “Mostly brash actually. I had a friend of mine dig up information on you. That’s why I took you to all your favorite restaurants and…”
“You stalked me?”
“I didn’t…” He stopped himself and ran his hands through his hair. “Loosely, maybe. And just at first. I don’t know what came over me. You just seemed like this goal that I had to achieve. And I didn’t care if I had to cheat and play dirty to get you in my bed. But the more time that went by, the more I started caring about you. It wasn’t just about sex anymore, it was about you. I liked hanging out with you. And yes, when we finally gave in to that temptation, it was explosive. But it wasn’t about that anymore. You’ve consumed me. And it terrifies me, because I’ve never felt this way before.”
He laughed and ran his hand through his hair again. “I kept getting this weird tightness in my chest ever since we met. I thought I was dying. But I think I was just worried about losing you. I’ve never been that attached to something before. Someone.” He leaned forward and put his hand on the side of my face. “You are not like any other girl in this city. I don’t want you to think that I kiss everyone I meet the way that I kiss you. Or that I look at anyone else the way that I look at you. I’m addicted to your laugh and the dimples in your cheeks when you smile. Your warmth and optimism despite everything that’s been taken from you. You’re beautiful inside and out. And the only thing for sure that I know in this crazy city is how I feel about you.”
“And how do you feel about me?”
“I love you, Bee. I love you so much.”
“I thought you were done with me?”
“I can’t ever quit you.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me onto his lap. “I love you so much.” He leaned down and kissed me.
