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Mason laughed. “It’s just an elevator, Bee. You’re okay.” He had pressed my back against the side of the elevator.
My fingers were gripping his shirt tightly. I tilted my head up even though I couldn’t see him.
“You know?” He kissed the side of my neck.
It felt like I could melt onto the elevator floor.
“The last time I had you in this dress, I had pictured doing all sorts of unspeakable things to you.” He kissed my neck a little lower.
“Unspeakable?”
“Your favorite.” He lightly bit my earlobe.
A small moan escaped from my lips.
“But not yet, baby. Not until you’re a real New Yorker.”
“You don’t want me right now?”
“You should see the way the other people in the elevator are looking at you right now.”
“What? Mason!”
He silenced me with a kiss. A kiss that made the tips of my fingers and toes tingle. He pulled away far too soon.
“We’re alone.” His voice was low. He had missed this too. “But we still have a few things to talk about.”
The elevator doors dinged and I felt a blast of cold air hit me. Mason quickly wrapped his arms around me again.
“Where are we?” It was freezing. Way colder than it had been before. The wind whipped through my hair. We had to be up high somewhere.
“Bee.” Mason pulled us to a stop and put his hands on either of my shoulders. “I could say all that cliché stuff about you being the other half of me and all that. And it is true in a sense. I’m a better version of myself when you’re around. I’m not even sure I like the guy who I am without you in my life. But all of this is new to me. This feeling is new.”
Holy shit, is he going to propose? I didn’t want him to propose. I wanted to enjoy where we were. I didn’t want to rush this feeling. We had our whole lives for that. I did want him in every way possible. But not like this. Not because he was scared I’d walk away again. I wasn’t going to do that. “Mason…”
“But it’s a little of an understatement to say I have commitment issues. I know you want the whole white dress and a ring thing, but I’m not ready for that. And I ‘d be lying if I said I was. I know how I feel. And I’m hoping that’s enough. I’m never letting go of this feeling. You’re all that I think about. But I need more time for all that. I want to take things slowly with you. I like taking things slow.”
It was like he had just hit every worry. My tears felt icy as they fell down my cheeks. I wished he would take my blindfold off. I wanted to see him. “I have commitment issues too. I’m terrified of love because I’m terrified of losing it.”
“You’re not going to lose me.”
“I don’t want you to make promises you can’t keep.”
“I’m not going to break any promises I make you. I’m not letting you go. I’m never letting you go.” He pulled the blindfold down my face.
The whole city stretched out beneath us, completely lit up in the night, covered in a blanket of freshly fallen snow. It was beautiful.
“Because this is how you make me feel. Like I’m on the top of the world. And when I let you walk away, it felt like I was freefalling from this building. I’ve never felt so alone before.”
“Me too. I mean, not falling, because I’ve never been up here.” I smiled up at him. “I just felt really, really cold. Like your arms were the only thing that could ever warm me again.”
“I don’t want to be alone anymore, Bee. I want to be with you. Ever since I’ve met you, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. And I’m so sick of standing still. I said a lot of things I didn’t mean the other day. I think I was just scared to tell you I loved you because of all the stupid shit I had done. Telling you and then you walking out seemed unbearable. So I just said all these terrible things. But it didn’t make it any less painful. I still had those feelings even though I didn’t tell you.”
“It’s okay, I think I was kind of easy.”
He laughed. “Because I couldn’t keep my hands off you. I knew what I was doing, and I knew what I wanted. But you were anything but easy.”
I smiled up at him. He had snowflakes in his hair and his nose was still pink from the cold. I wasn’t sure I had ever seen him more handsome.
