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Something flashes in his eyes. Recognition. “Like your father?”
Shame heats my cheeks.
He came upon us at a party once. Intervened, actually.
Finn saw my father’s hand around my wrist. He saw the crushing grip he used. It left a bruise the next day. Not the first one, which I’m sure Finn realized, the same way I recognized the frequency of the scene in his foyer.
My father is a powerful man. A smart man. And fundamentally, a broken man. Most of the world never sees that part of him. In public he’s by turns cruel and charismatic. At home he’s strict. He only gets violent when he drinks.
I know it’s not my fault that he does that. Intellectually, I know. But the psychology of kids who’ve been hit is encoded early on in our lives. It doesn’t flip when we turn eighteen.
My father isn’t allowed to hurt me anymore.
I grew up, moved out, and stood up for myself. That too-firm grip at the party is rare these days, but it still felt more familiar to me than a kiss. I’m used to violence. Not love. Even in my romantic life, I’m used to betrayal. Not devotion.
“It’s not exactly a secret,” I say, because many people know. Even more suspect. Like Finn said about his father’s breakdown in Queens, people expect wealthy, powerful men to be borderline alcoholic and moderately abusive. It’s part of their privilege.
A sigh warms the top of my head. “I’m supposed to ask you to sign a Nondisclosure Agreement. I have a lawyer on speed dial for just such an occasion. There’s a lot of money in it for you, I should tell you. Don’t accept the first offer.”
“Unfortunately for your family lawyers, I’m a wealthy woman.”
“That usually doesn’t stop people from wanting more money.”
That makes me laugh. “I’ll sign your papers for free, Phineas Galileo Hughes.”
He leans back. “I should never have said it in front of you.”
“Your middle name? I already knew it.”
Brown eyebrows rise in question.
“The quarterly investor’s reports,” I remind him. They’re signed with his full name. As the Chief Financial Officer, it’s not strange for Finn to write the reports. He’s in the perfect position to know about the financial health of the corporation. And they assume that since his father’s still the CEO, the directives and vision for the company come from him.
Now, of course, I know that isn’t true.
Finn studies me so closely that it makes me feel exposed. “I know you’re wealthy. And strong. And independent. But I’d like to help you if your father is still hurting you. It was never okay, not even once. I’d like to kick his ass if you’ll let me.”
What a strange idea, having this man at my command.
Like I’m a princess, and he’s a knight that I can send on a quest.
“I had a privileged childhood,” I said. “The best of everything.”
“Not the best dad.”
“No,” I say softly, unable to refute the fact. “I’m not sure he’d deny that, either.”
“I’d like to kill him for sure,” he says, and it sounds strangely almost romantic. That’s the last coherent thought I have before he leans close. His lips brush mine.
It’s not the same wild, desperate kiss that we shared before.
As soon as our lips touch, a sigh escapes me. This moment is a connection we never could have had on that dark, rocky waterfront. Not with all the secrets between us. The walls have come down now. In a temporary truce, there are no defenses. Nothing hiding the dark pleasure in his eyes when he pauses to look at me. Nothing stopping my surrender when he leans down to nip at my bottom lip. I moan both the pleasure and pain.
I let myself be open with a man only once. Trusting with a man only once.
It brought devastation to me. I promised myself never to do it again. What the hell am I supposed to do with this trust I feel for Finn? I don’t like it, but I’m powerless to resist. Powerless like you were before, a voice in my head reminds me. Blinded by love.
Except I’m not in love with Finn Hughes.
