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“Sebastian, I think we should talk about how this is going to go. I promise I’ll do what you ask of me. I’m starting to understand how much you need this and I want to give you what you need,” she began.
He found himself starting to lean into her. She had no idea what he really needed. Would she run if she knew? Or could he use that naïve, eager curiosity to his advantage?
How much would it hurt when she eventually realized how unworthy he was?
It didn’t seem to matter to his cock. His cock was starting to strain against his slacks. “You can’t begin to understand what I need.”
Her lips curled up. “So tell me. I think you’ll find I’m very open-minded.”
He took a step back, trying to find his equilibrium. His back hit against the island and he felt his right leg buckle. God, he hated falling and he didn’t want to do it in front of her. He managed to catch himself but only just.
Tiffany reached out to get a hand on him and he saw the nauseating look of sympathy in her eyes.
He pulled back. Yes, this was why he should stay away. The very last thing he wanted from her was sympathy. “I’m fine.”
He hated that look. It always took him back to that moment when he’d realized he’d lost everything.
I can’t stand to look at you.
“Sebastian, it’s okay. You lost your balance,” she said. “You got it back. You didn’t even spill your wine.”
But he could have. He could have spilled everything all over the floor and she would have been the one to clean it all up. God, if he couldn’t handle a serene, reasonable woman like Alicia, what the hell did he have for someone like Tiffany? “I don’t need any help. You can stand back. Here’s another rule. Don’t touch me unless you have permission. That’s a hard and fast rule. I don’t know how your other Doms behaved, but I prefer that we keep things proper between us.”
She took a step back, her eyes widening. “I’m sorry. I was only trying to help.”
There were the wounded doe eyes he’d been sure he’d see at some point. Tiffany was a pretty, happy butterfly flitting around the flowers.
He was the gaping, hulking beast who clumsily smashed butterflies and hurt their tender feelings.
It was better she knew that now.
“May I touch you, Sir?” Her eyes had lost their wounded look.
“I don’t think that’s necessary right now.” He wasn’t sure what she was doing, but he knew he couldn’t handle it.
She nodded. “All right, then. Roar away, lion. I can handle it.”
“What?” He wasn’t sure he’d heard her right.
She smiled brightly. “Nothing at all, Sir. I think dinner is ready. I’ll set the table.”
She started to turn and he couldn’t let it go. “Why do you want to touch me?”
“Because I thought you could use a hug, Sir. You don’t seem to understand a few truths about the world.”
And she was going to tell him? Tiffany was a sweet girl, but she’d also always had a safety net. She’d grown up wealthy and surrounded by a family who loved her and supported everything she did. She was going to tell him about life? “What truth in life have I missed?”
She opened the stove and reached inside. “That we all stumble and we all fall and we all need a hug every now and then. I know I do. It’s been a very long and rough day. I’m an affectionate person and that tends to mean I need affection in my life. I think this whole thing will be very difficult for me if I’m not allowed to touch you. But I understand that this isn’t about my pleasure. It’s about a favor for the Taggarts, whom I owe very much to. I’ll survive.”
She almost made it sound like she wanted to touch him. Damn it. What was her game? What did she want from him?
When was the last time someone hugged him out of pure and genuine need?
His life had become rigid and he needed that. He needed the control and he certainly needed to have discipline. Distance. He’d found keeping a good emotional distance from people helped him concentrate on his goals.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like the people around him. He liked them very much, including Tiffany. He’d simply learned that he functioned better with distance.
But wasn’t it his duty as her dominant partner to give her what she needed? He didn’t like being touched anymore, but he was responsible for her comfort while she was under his care. He’d been careful in selecting his partners. He always sought out submissives who required no emotion from him.
