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“I’ve watched you in the club.” He turned the chair so he could properly glare at her. At least that was how it seemed to her. He was giving her that Dom stare that let her know she was in for a lecture. “You’re reckless. You offer yourself up for some of the more extreme play.”
He’d misunderstood. “Play, yes. I like to try things. I do like to push my limits, but I didn’t have sex with any of those Doms.”
“Because you decided you wanted me.”
“Yes.” How could he make that sound like an accusation?
“Tiffany, I’m considered one of the rougher Doms in Sanctum. Wade and I are the only two Doms who have worked professionally.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“You like a firm hand in the bedroom. You like a firm hand in life. I’ve been quite rough with you over the few weeks of our relationship. Do you know why I took you home that night?”
She knew exactly what night he was talking about. It had been that awful night a few days before her father’s surgery. “Because Chef asked you to. I know the story. Deena told me. It was the night she and Eric really got together, but it almost didn’t happen because I was so drunk.”
“You don’t know the whole story. I told Chef I would take you home. I wasn’t about to allow anyone else to take you. I also was upset that you were in a position where someone could take advantage of you. I’m not saying it would have been your fault. It wouldn’t, but that doesn’t make me less upset that it could have happened.”
“Sebastian, it was a party at Chef’s house. I knew almost everyone there. It was not an issue.”
His mouth firmed. “When I found you, you were pushing away one of the busboys. He was trying to grope you.”
She barely remembered most of that evening. It hadn’t been her finest moment. She felt her cheeks heat with pure embarrassment. “I didn’t lead him on or anything.”
“I didn’t say you did. I never thought you did. It was his fault. I explained the situation to him and then I took you home. I intended to offer my services to you the next morning when you were sober and clear of mind and yes, those services would have led to sex.”
She felt her eyes widen. “Are you kidding me? Why didn’t you ask me? I would have said yes.”
“Because you cried that night,” he admitted. “Because I took you back to your place with every intention of putting you to bed, sitting up and drawing up a contract and presenting you with it in the morning. Instead, I held you for the longest time while you cried and told me about your parents and how you miss your father.”
“So I scared you off.” It hurt that they could have been together all this time.
“I came to the hospital a few days later. I sat with you. I felt more needed that day than you can imagine. I tried to see myself as something more than a Dom to you and I couldn’t because I always knew I would still need this damn chair. The funny thing is now I see I might very well be a decent partner for you, but I’m not sure you’ll be able to see me as a top after this.”
She felt her hands fist at her sides. “You have to be kidding me.”
“Forget I said anything.” His hands went to the wheels again.
She wanted to scream. “No, I can’t forget you said anything. Sebastian, this is ridiculous. You can’t do the dishes. The sink is too high. Find something else to do if you absolutely have to. Do you understand how ridiculous it is to say I’m not treating you like a real Dom when I’m offering you service? I’m offering to literally wait on you hand and foot. You say you’re the baddest Dom in Sanctum? Well, here I am being twelve kinds of subby and you reject me at every turn.”
“Yes, you sound so very submissive. This is exactly what I’m talking about.”
She stopped. She wasn’t being patient, wasn’t trying to figure him out. He’d bent this morning. He’d let her in and she needed to do the same for him. “I started in the lifestyle because my friends were doing it. I’ll admit it. I enjoy the hell out of it. It’s more arousal than I’ve ever had, but it still didn’t tempt me into uninvolved sex. I’ve had four sexual partners and I’ve cared about all of them. I’m an emotionally based lover.”
“Who has very likely chosen every lover for what he could give you,” he shot back. “I suspect you always chose the alpha male in the group.”
Maybe, but couldn’t he see that he belonged to that group? He was a quiet top, but definitely a top. “I chose you. I don’t know why we have to question that.”
“I’m not trying to question you beyond the fact that I’m worried I can’t give you what you need.”
“I only need you.”
He looked down, his eyes on the floor. “You say that now, but I’m not sure where we’ll be a few weeks from now. You know I can’t physically force you to obey me.”
Did he understand D/s at all? “I have a safe word, Sebastian. You can’t force me to do anything. It stops everything.”
“I know I wouldn’t actually force you. But tell me you don’t like the idea that the safe word is merely a ploy, that I couldn’t force you at any time at all. You like the knife’s edge. You push boundaries. Tell me I can push yours. Because I can’t. I can’t follow you in this chair. I can’t force you. Not ever.”
He couldn’t force her but it had little to do with the chair and everything to do with the man he was. “I’m okay with that. Whatever you think I need, I don’t need any more than you can give. Will you please let me do the dishes so we can go to bed where you very likely won’t do anything interesting?”
