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“That’s called doggie style,” Fiona says, as if she’s teaching me the names of the continents.
“I know what doggie style is!”
“Well, don’t get mad at me. You didn’t know what a fluffer is. I thought I was being helpful.”
“Oooooh, baby, you’re so tight,” says a man’s voice, deep and intense, choked with sensuality. It sounds like he’s speaking from above us, right here in the room. “Yeah, I’m gonna make you scream.”
We all look up and toward the door.
No man.
Toward Raul.
He’s not speaking.
Toward the laptop.
“You want Daddy to give it to you, huh?” the man says again, the sound now reverberating throughout the entire coffee shop. About ten people, including one woman with a toddler, are looking around the store, puzzled.
Raul’s jaw drops.
Funny. He looks just like a male version of an AlwaysDoll.
“Who is saying this?” I screech, looking around wildly. The sound is coming from everywhere.
Fiona points to Beastman’s mouth. “It’s him!”
“I’m impaling you, baby. How’s it feel to be impaled?” Panting breaths make it clear he’s super into being Vlad the Impaler.
Fiona’s finger brushes against his moving lips on the laptop screen. “See? His lips are moving in time with the words.”
“Perky! Oh my God!” I scream. “What did you do to my computer?”
Smack! Smack! “You like it when I ride this big wet ass, don’t you?” Beastman says to his onscreen costar, grabbing her throat from behind.
Raul starts fanning himself with a coffee-drink menu. The woman with a toddler covers his ears and picks him up, rushing for the door. A cluster of teen boys grins and looks around, following the sound like they’re on a scavenger hunt.
Beastman pulls out, bends down, and–
“Ewwwwww!” we three whisper in horror.
I peer closer as I frantically push every keyboard button possible. “Is he licking her there?”
“Now we know why she has a big wet ass,” Fiona marvels.
And then:
“Baby, I wanna taste you,” Beastman moans. The woman turns around.
No.
No!
“Not ass to mouth!” Perky hush-screams as Beastman kisses his costar. “Never ass to mouth!”
Two things happen as she says it.
One: Will Lotham walks in the front door.
