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“You sound like a therapist.”
“I’m a preschool teacher. Same thing.”
“Fiona…”
“Promise me you’ll take it. Email him and say yes. Worst case, you quit on day one. Best case, you end up married with kids and a family real estate business.”
“That is one hell of a lot of room between two extremes.”
“It’s a spectrum. Just go with it.”
“If I don’t take the job, you two will never, ever get off my back, will you?”
“Have fun watching Jeopardy every Tuesday night at 7 p.m. while your dad clips his toenails in the living room on a hand towel, Mal. If you lose your apartment, that’s what you’re facing.”
“Maybe I’ll get a roommate.”
“You live in a one bedroom apartment. Good luck with that.”
“Toenails and Alex Trebek, or Will Lotham.”
“I can see how this is such a difficult choice,” she says dryly. “You suffer either way.”
“I do! I really do.”
“Email Will before Perky hacks into your account and sends an acceptance email on your behalf.”
“She wouldn’t.”
“You’ve been friends with her as long as I have, Mal. You seriously think she hasn’t already?”
Damn.
I quickly check email.
“Liar!” I accuse.
“Made you open your app. Now it’s simple. Find Will’s email and reply, “I accept. When do I start?”
I stare at Will’s email:
I like how you started to re-arrange the living room. And that feng shui theory sounded ludicrous, but then again, I’m superstitious enough to bury a statue of St. Joseph when trying to sell a property. I need someone to handle staging for our company. If you’re willing to do a one-month trial as a consultant, I’ve got a gig for you. No coconut oil, and sorry–clothing isn’t optional.
I type:
One month. Fully clothed. And I am charging you a 1% commission if the house sells within that month. No negotiation. Take it or leave it.
Fiona’s reading over my shoulder and gasps.
“Mal! You’re not serious. You–that reads like Perky wrote it!”
I close my eyes and tap the screen.
“You sent it! Oh my God, you sent that?”
I did.
I did, and before I can even close the app, a notification informs me I have a reply.
