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“I don’t know if I can.” I sniffled.
“You’ll know when it’s time.”
I pulled back and peered down at the letter. My heart constricted. I didn’t know if I had the strength today. I needed more time to contemplate it.
“Not yet,” I whispered. “Will you…will you be here when I’m ready?”
“Always,” he told me. “I will always be here when you need me.”
I leaned back into his embrace, my mind trapped on the box of letters hidden away in my closet. The thought of going them, of ripping open years of wounds, left me drained, and I hadn’t even touched them yet. I was scared of what I would find—that, as right as I thought I was about my father, I might also be wrong. What if I had wasted six years for nothing? And worse…what if everything I had done to shield my heart from him was for no good reason?
Landon left later that night when I got a text from Emery, saying that she was on her way home. He needed to get his stuff home and change out of his own travel clothes. Plus, he didn’t want to run into Jensen just yet. I knew that conversation was probably going to have to come up again, but neither of us wanted it to be like this.
Emery showed up with Jensen, as expected. It made me happy for my friend and jealous that she didn’t have to hide anything. But, when she saw me sitting in the living room, watching Moana, she shooed him out of the apartment, and we spent the rest of the night catching up while she finished some last-minute grading.
“So, you’re actually going to read the letters?” Emery asked in shock.
“I don’t know. I think…I’ll know when it’s the right time. Right?”
“Lover girl, you’ve been waiting this long. Are you sure you’ll know? Maybe you should do it now and get it over with.”
“No, Landon said he’d be here with me. I think I’ll need all the emotional support I can get.”
“Well, I’m here, too.”
“I know,” I said as I leaned over and kissed her cheek.
“Oh, Heidi, so forward.”
“You like it.”
She giggled. “Totally. I would so be bi for you.”
“Same.”
We looked at each other and then burst into laughter. It was a fun night. A chill night. One that I hadn’t realized how much I needed. I had the best, best friend in the world. And I knew I was lucky to have known her my entire life.
Our night ended too soon, and then it was back to the grind. I knew that Landon would be in early on Monday morning as usual, and I made sure to avoid his desk at all costs. I didn’t trust not to give myself away when I looked at him.
I plopped down next to Matt.
“Hey, Heidi!” he said with buoyancy I hadn’t seen from him…ever.
“Hey, Matt.”
“How was your weekend?”
I froze momentarily, surprised by the question. “Uh…good. I didn’t do much. How about you?”
“I met someone,” he gushed. “She’s gorgeous, and it just clicked.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn’t asked about my weekend because he actually cared. As per usual Matt. He had asked because he had news, and he wanted to share.
“Oh, yeah? A new girl? That’s exciting. Where did you meet her?”
“I was at a bar with some friends, and I met her there. Her name is Wendy, and she’s perfect for me. I just know it.”
“That’s amazing, Matt,” I said with a genuine smile.
