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“I’m sorry, Bailey.” I snapped my attention back to his face, surprised by his words. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry for what I did to you.” His hand reached up, softly landing on the side of my face, his thumb swiping away another tear. “If I could take it back, I would in a heartbeat. I’d give fuckin’ anything to take back what I did to you.”
I closed my eyes, breathing him in, letting the warmth of his body seep into my bones. “Show me,” I whispered, slowly opening my eyes back up to stare directly into his dark irises. “Show me what you would have done that first night if we weren’t there…if we were free.”
“What…” His hand clenched tighter on my face, his fingers pushing into my hair.
“Show me what our first time would have been like.” I pressed closer to him. “I need you to erase that night, Romeo. I need the memory to be of us both wanting it. I need…I need you to take away the pain that you caused.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, his voice even rougher now as he told me, “I’m not sure I can.”
“Try,” I begged. “Try for me.”
He stared down at me for so long that I was sure I’d lost him—sure that he wasn’t going to do what I was pleading for him to do. But then, in the blink of an eye, gone was the sadness in his gaze and in its place was a fire I’d seen only two other times before.
“If we do this, there’s no turning back.” His words were followed up by his hands landing on my waist, holding me to him. “Do you understand that, Bailey?” He dropped his head down, leaning it against mine. “The moment you accept my touch—the moment youwantmy touch—you’re mine. Only ever mine. You got that?”
My cheeks heated at his words and I pressed my thighs together. “I understand,” I whispered, taking a huge lungful of air. The movement had my chest shifting against his, my hard nipples rubbing in just the right way.
“Say it,” he demanded, stalking forward and causing me to go backward. “Say it, Bailey.”
I shook my head, confused. “Say what?”
“Say you want me to touch you.” He paused at the bottom of the stairs, lifting me onto the second step so that we were at the same height.
“No.” I bit down on my bottom lip, slowly unraveling my body from his and turning around. The long T-shirt I was wearing was out of one of his drawers, and the leggings were something he’d brought home with him yesterday. “I can’t tell you that I want you to touch me.”
My back was to him, so I had no idea what his reaction was, but now that I was at the top of the stairs, I turned back to face him. His hands clenched the wooden rails of the stairs, his knuckles white from the force. I was taking back my power, my dignity. I was claiming everything for myself.
I was in control.
“Bailey,” he growled, his gaze tracking my hands as I lifted under the T-shirt and hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my leggings. Slowly, I lowered them, letting them drop to the ground, then stepped back, leaving me in just his T-shirt. “Don’t you dare take that off,” he warned.
“Do you want to know why I can’t tell you that I want you to touch me?”
He moved up one step but stopped himself advancing anymore. “Why?” I shivered at his deep timbre.
“Because…” I gripped the edge of the T-shirt, slowly lifting it until I was standing there, fully naked. My shoulder ached at the move, a reminder of when Mr. Pozzi dislocated it and then Romeo popped it back into place. It wasn’t the only reminder left on my body from my time there, but I refused to acknowledge any of that in that moment.
“I don’t want you, Romeo. I need you.” I sucked in a breath. “I need yousobad.”
“Fuck me,” he gritted out, his eyes sending so much fire my way that I was surprised I wasn’t covered in flames. “This is your last chance to back out, Bailey.”
My stomach rolled, wondering for just a split second if I was doing the right thing. Would I regret this? Or would I regret it more if I didn’t do this.
There was only one way to find out. Only one way to take back everything that was stolen from me.
“Touch me, Romeo.” I laid my hand flat on my stomach, letting my head drop back. “Please.”
At that last word, he bolted up the stairs, not stopping as he banded his arm around my waist and hauled me up against him. “Wrap your legs around me,” he commanded.
I did as he said, feeling his jean-covered erection right between my legs. I didn’t have a strip of clothing on, but he was still covered in material, a fact that I didn’t like. It was daylight, nothing stopping us from seeing every part of each other. And if I was honest, it was what I needed. I needed us to happen like this away from the darkness of the night. I needed us to be open and I needed…I needed him to touch me, to erase the last touch that I’d had.
“We can stop at any time,” Romeo said, stepping into his bedroom where I’d been sleeping since we’d first come here. “Just say the word and I’ll stop. I promise.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s okay, I just…” He’d felt me stiffen, felt me tense, but it wasn’t because of him. “I just was thinking about the last time I was touched.” Squeezing my eyes closed, I tried not to let the images invade my brain—tried to keep Mr. Pozzi’s face out of my head, but it was so damn hard.
“Shhh,” Romeo whispered, lowering me down until my back hit the bed. I still didn’t open my eyes though, too afraid of what would happen if I did. I could sense the panic coming on, could feel it trying to overtake me again.
Fuck. I hated this. I hated it so damn much.
