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“That’s never happening. The only person getting spanked around here is you. Baby Blue, I don’t like that you push yourself so hard.”
“What do you mean?”
“You run like there are monsters chasing you.”
She swallowed heavily. If he could open up a bit with her, then she could do the same, right?
“Because it feels like there are,” she whispered. “The only way to free my mind of everything is to run until I’m exhausted. The pain of my muscles burning . . . it makes me feel alive.”
“And is that why you sometimes hurt yourself as well? To feel alive?”
“I don’t hurt myself.”
“I’ve seen you bite your lip or press your nails into the palm of your hand,” he pointed out.
“That’s not really hurting myself.”
He gave her a knowing look. “Any pain is unacceptable.”
“Oh, so no more spankings? Good to know.”
“That’s different and you know it, brat. At any time, you can say your safeword and stop a spanking or punishment. If you feel that they in any way relate to you hurting yourself, then they stop now.”
His fierceness took her by surprise, but it shouldn’t have.
“No, of course not. I don’t see them that way at all.” Her shoulders slumped. “I run to try and escape my problems. But pressing my nails into my palms . . . that’s more to do with keeping myself under control. The pain can clear my head if I’m panicking or about to do something stupid in front of . . .”
“Jonathan,” he said grimly. “He’s not here now, and I won’t allow him to hurt you anymore. I don’t want you doing that anymore, Baby Blue.”
“I don’t know if it’s that easy.”
“From now on, if you try to hurt yourself, we’ll be watching. You can come to any of us and tell us if you need a distraction or help or to talk. And you won’t be running again without one of us.”
“I . . . I’ll try,” she whispered.
He placed his hands gently on her thighs, stirring her insides. He was so beautiful and damaged. Without thinking, she reached up to cup the side of his face.
He turned to her, kissing the palm of her hand. “I hope you can forgive me with time. That I can show you the man I want to be. For you.”
Chloe stood in her bedroom.
Nerves flooded her. This was ridiculous. She shouldn’t feel this anxious about being around them. After her run and talk with Judd, she’d come back for a shower. Owen had been up and working on his laptop when they’d walked in.
Turns out, he’d been playing possum earlier when he’d pretended to be asleep while she snuck out. Once he knew she was safe with Judd, he’d gone back to sleep for a while.
She took a deep breath.
You’re holding back.
You need to tell them what you want.
They were all tip-toeing around each other. It had to stop.
She wanted the old guys back. The ones that were overprotective, bossy, and funny. She wanted her Daddies. She was tired of this distance between them.
Moving to the mirror, she checked her appearance several times. Sometimes she really hated being this way.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the room.
“There she is!” Hux yelled, jumping to his feet and making her jump.
“Idiot!” Judd walked by and slapped his head.
“Ow! That hurt.”
“Don’t see how when your head is made of concrete,” Judd muttered.
She had to smile. Okay, things might be better. They were acting more normal. Owen was on his laptop. Beck wasn’t there, but he was likely in the gym.
“Come sit down!” Hux called out. “I’ve got some things planned for us today.”
Uh-oh.
Hux seemed to think he needed to keep them all busy and that would fix everything.
“Whatever it is, I can’t do it,” Owen said. “I have lives to ruin.”
She gaped at Owen. Um, what?
Before she could ask him what he was talking about, Beck walked in, holding a large bunch of white roses. “Hey, a guy was dropping these off, so I signed for them. They’re for Chloe.”
“Uh . . . you got a secret admirer we don’t know about Chloe?” Hux asked.
“What?” Judd barked. “Who?”
“They’re from me,” Owen said. “And they’re for Amy Alpaca, not Chloe.”
She smiled at him, happiness filling her.
“Forgot you owed Amy some flowers. Is she happy with these, little darlin’?” Hux asked.
Something relaxed inside her. This felt more like the old them. She nodded. “Yes, she approves. They’re not the first bunch she’s received.”
“Sit down. I’ll order breakfast,” Judd said.
“Do you want a bath? I think they have a service here with rose petals and champagne and stuff like that. Sounds nice, right?” Hux asked. “Have you got plenty of bath stuff? We’ll get you more. Maybe we should go shopping?”
“I, um, well . . . I don’t know.”
Jesus. Way to tell them what you really want.
