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Aiden…
forty-eight
Finn
Pacing.It’sallIcan do in this lobby.
It’s this or I sit, and before, my foot was tapping so rapidly that one of the nurses came over and had to ask me to keep it down. Said I was affecting the other people waiting in the lobby.
I slam my back into the chair because screw them.
My thumb and index finger rest on my chin. How could I let this happen? Why did I allow myself to become distracted? I should’ve kept my eyes on Aiden. I shouldn’t have drunk so much…
This is all my fault.
Hailey’s back with the doctor, her mom is with them as well. I stayed waiting in the lobby with everyone else after she asked for some space because I felt too guilty to disagree. All the hellhounds are here, Abram, Hailey’s dad, but the most surprising is Madison. I never asked her to stick around, but I’m too miserable to tell her to kindly fuck off, so here she’s stayed.
My head shakes out of my own aggravation and pure stupidity.
Not only did I almost cause my son to drown, but nothing ruins a rehearsal dinner more than the shrill screams of a horrified mother stepping out at the very moment her son drove his car—the one Ihadto buy him—headfirst into the water.
Hailey hadn’t had time to close the door all the way in her haste, so the high-pitched screams echoed off the walls of the entire party back at home.
The dinner died down pretty quickly after.
I always prided myself on knowing how to throw a party, turns out I also know how to end them just as successfully.
Hailey grew up around the ocean and I have no doubt about how much Aiden loves it as well. He wasn’t unfamiliar with the water, but still…I messed up.
My eyes press closed at the memory. The utter horror of my son barreling headfirst for the water, the stupid-ass car I bought becoming nothing more than a brick of dead weight…
The one thing Hailey cherishes the most. Our son. I’m sure the experience became her worst nightmare in a matter of a few life-altering terrifying seconds.
I’m sitting, but my legs want to give out. Fuck the nurse for telling me to quiet down and fuck the people who think I’m not a complete mess over this.
I’m unsure of how long I stay in my seat, but I swear it ages me ten times over by the time Hailey’s dad finds himself in the empty one beside me.
“You know, the person you think about when you’re standing in front of the ocean is the person you’re in love with.”
I blink, and then I do it again. Lazily my head swings as I tug my gaze away from the painting on the wall opposite of us and toward him.
Numb, I feel numb.
Her dad points back at the piece of art. Huh. I guess it would appear to someone else like I was staring at the ocean. Before, I saw nothing but blankness. Now, I inspect the waves as they crash the shoreline.
Funny how it appears calm, peaceful.
Serene.
Whereas when my thoughts go back to the splash of water from the pool and my son diving headfirst into it, all I see is danger.
Harmful. Lethal.Death.
I stare back straight ahead, mainly because I’m too embarrassed to look this man in the eye, especially since he doesn’t seem to carry an ounce of anger in his voice. It makes me feel that much worse.
“I messed up.” My voice is scratchy and dry from not holding my breath when I dove in, inhaling my own mouthful of water. A small side-effect to what my son must’ve experienced.
I notice in my peripheral how he crosses one heel over his knee. Why is he making himself so comfortable? Is he not worried for his grandson?
