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“My sweet Hailey, things shifted long before you realized.” A glossiness settles in her eyes as they turn heavier and wanton. Distant.
She savors her drink, swallowing down several more sips, almost as if she’s trying to wade through things in her own mind.
“You know your father's and my divorce had nothing to do with you.”
My eyes shut momentarily.It had everything to do with me.
“I promise,” my mother reassures me as if she somehow could read my thoughts. “It was our decision and although it impacted you, it wasnotbecause of you.”
My chest thumps.
“We’ve already discussed this.”
“Actually, we haven’t,” she corrects after a beat. “We’ve attempted, but you’ve shut your father and me out any time we’ve tried…”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” I hiss.
“Too bad.”
Her attitude is no-nonsense and not one to be trifled with. My mother’s smirk is swift but not any less irritating when I shoot her my less-than-amused expression.
“Has anyone ever told you, you can be annoyingandstubborn?”
“It takes one to know one,” she remarks, entertained. She then raises her mug as if to say touché.
My mouth flattens into a thin line.
She scoffs. “It’s been years, Hailey—”
My eyelids stutter. The action is so jarring it cuts off whatever else she was about to say.
I know how long it’s been; I don’t need the reminder. Same as I don’t need her to try and explain herself like I hadn’t found her hysterically weeping on the floor in the kitchen behind us.Thatimage has lived rent-free in my mind since the day it happened.
It’s as vivid as Finn coming to see me right before but nowhere near as aggressive as the words she’d spoken to me past her sobs.Children suffer the most.
“I will always have a love for your father…” All the air leaves my lungs. “Your father feels the same. The love we share for you has never changed, but ours is a different kind now, and that’s okay.”
My shoulders widen before they fold in. I don’t want to hear this. It’s too much. The seriousness in her voice is too strong as she pleads with me to believe her.
“Things changed for us, but the divorce? It was our choice, our way of being happy again. It happens, Hailey.” She reaches for my hand, and I jump, not expecting the contact.
When had she come to my side? This is all wrong. She’s supposed to be across from me in her spot, not overhear. The strain I have inside heightens at the unexpected closeness.
“You deserve to have happiness too. What would make you happy?” Her voice is tender, so loving.
Finn.
My mind spirals rapid fire with the single answer. Rattling, my head swooshes back and forth, moving, shaking.
Spinning.
Spinning.
Spinning.
He’s there and I’m here.
Finn’s not around, but I want him to be.
