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Do I have one of those anymore? According to the documents my mother signed hours ago, I have two.
My jaw strains as my teeth grind, taking away the enamel. The tears may be begging to fall, but I don’t allow them. Not here, where the ocean is supposed to be my happy place…even if it’s turned into my catchall as of recently.
There had been no warning signs. No cheating, no fights other than the occasional small miscommunication, nothing but pure, utter normalcy.
My chest rises and falls with the rhythm of the waves. My soul fills with salt and disapproval.
The sea has been my oldest friend and my most trusted keeper of secrets.
Jagged as I am, she listens with ease. Rising, she takes my news and pulls it back to sea. Forward and back, forward and back, forward and back, she takes more than I could ever give.
“Think you could come down here for break and not tell me goodbye, Williams?”
My exhale turns choppy in my own disbelief. The ocean listens, sure, but I never expected a response…
“Finn?”
“I’m not that easy to get rid of,” he jokes, taking off in a sprint, kicking up sand as he lessons the gap between us.
I blink, and then I do it again.
His smile is soft, and even with the hair in my eyes distorting most of my vision, I can tell it’s genuine—pure—and it’s all for me.
He’s always so confident, the total opposite of me as of recently.
“Let’s not make it a habit of leaving without saying goodbye, yeah?” He smirks, tucking the loose strands of my dark-auburn hair behind either ear. Braiding the thick pieces would’ve been the smart thing to do, but I couldn’t be bothered.
“Something only becomes a habit if it’s done several times,” I breathe. He’s so close, right here. “This is my first offense,” I express stubbornly.
I still have no idea what he’s doing or why he showed up. We aren’t together…
Finn hasn’t bothered to move his hands from either side of my cheeks, and suddenly, I don’t understand the chaos of this thing between us. A swarm of butterflies flutters as they roam behind my navel.
“Let’s not make it one then,” he says softly. His eyes light up, cautious but eager and my heart is slammed right back into the conversation.
Close…he could kiss me…I can’t move…
…I don’t want to…
I think I choke out his name, but my voice is too hoarse to be recognizable. Why has he come all this way?
“I came to see you,” he responds, stroking his thumb in the exact spot the dimple in my cheek sits when I smile. If he hadn’t answered me, I would’ve been able to tell from the smirk he was shooting my way that I spoke my thought aloud.
The realness of the situation bathes me as thick as the fresh coat of paint on this recent build behind us. My mother’s new house is a soft turquoise, but I only see red.
Here? Now. Of all the places? All the times?
I’ve shoved myself out of his grasp before either of us is fully aware it’s been done. Feet stand between us instead of the inches before.
Why now?
Willingly but unknowingly, he entered, pushing past the storm, the chaos that is my life, and found me in the eye of pandemonium.
My head turns sideways, giving him my profile. Finn shouldn’t have come. I don’t want him here. I’m not ready to talk about what’s going on with my parents. It’s too soon, the wounds too…fresh.
“Did I do something wrong?” Finn asks hoarsely while I avoid his face like it’s the plague.
Only briefly do I allow my vision to wander up from the sand. Only I regret it because once more, I only find misery. My pulse drums in my throat. This house is a monument to what’s happened.
