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Our relationship had been an illusion. One I thought we’d built together, solid, when it was actually made of glass. She carried the stone, and I stood there naive and immobile, watching as we shattered.
An invisible pair of hands clap and I blink, clearing away the jaded fog from my eyes. The person who sits across from me stares up at the thick string lights above. Unnecessary, seeing as the sun’s out and it’s only midday, but whatever.
She may not want to be here anymore, but Hailey hasn’t left either. Interesting.
“Here,” I encourage, shoving my small container of pico de gallo her way. My generosity bests me, even if she doesn’t deserve it after I hear how her stomach growls.
This is the first time she’s looked my way since understanding dawned on them earlier when she almost touched a hand to my chest. We both knew she no longer had the right.
Her eyes round. Hope and something else I can’t quite figure out furrowing in them. “You’re giving me this?”
Voiceless, I finish my last taco in two bites. She shouldn’t read so much into it. So what if I remembered it was her favorite part of the meal and paid for a second when I ordered, knowing she’d probably forget to do it for herself?
I blame it on the habit of me doing it for her in the past. I used to find it cute. Her excitement as we pulled in outweighed all her rationality.
I lift an indifferent shoulder. “They messed up and gave me extra.”
“Oh…” The optimism in her eyes dies with the same intensity as her voice.
I shove the red plastic forward, finished. The action moves her own tray back closer to her.
Hailey used to hum her approval while eating. Energetically she’d dance in her seat, and I’d know she was enjoying herself.
She doesn’t do that now.
Hailey moves almost cautiously as she pulls for the small plastic cup and pours the diced tomato and onion combination into her food. Her throat bobs on a rough swallow, taking a bite.
Being more generous than she deserves, I make it known I pity her. Pathetically do I hand over one ofmynapkins after hers had been jammed into my rib cage. The outline of the stain dried as proof to my front.
Both of us showing here may have been coincidental, and this may have been one of our favorite places, but this isn’t a date. We aren’t friends. We’re parents.
Speaking of… “Where’s Aiden?”
“My dad’s watching him.” She says this so calmly. So, composed. It both jars and undoes me.
Flames of heat strengthen inside my gut. “Why didn’t you ask me?”
I can’t be the only one who sees the problem with this?
The words fire off like a gunshot. “I want to be involved; I want to be in his life.” I vocalize for what I swear is the millionth time. Have I not made myself clear enough?
My hands clamp, gripping the edge of the table to steady myself. The air I try to breathe in and out gets caught somewhere between my stomach and my mouth.
It seems Hailey is having the same problem since she hasn’t said a word. Agreeingordisagreeing with what I’ve stated.
I fight back for control, staying as dull and as boring as an unsalted pretzel while I wait for her explanation.
My limbs tingle, going numb with rage. Fatigue crawls, making its way through every one of my bones.
Then, “I didn’t think about it…I-I…”
My stomach rolls.Finish your thought. I dare you. Finish your thought, Williams.My glare challenges.
Torment burns in both our eyes. Hers cloud over while mine stay focused, clear.
“I forgot, okay?” she admits with a scream. “Is that what you wanted to hear? I forgot. I didn’t think about it because I’m not used to having a partner…” she pants, spent.
The chocolate that is her irises are wide, pupils full-blown as she tries to catch her breath. The dusting of bronze in them is as stunning as it is distracting.
