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Seeing Finn had been unexpected, but the surprise of it being him—the one person plaguing my mind right before—is what had set me over the edge. That orgasm alone stronger than anything I’ve had in years.
I jam a piece of toast in my mouth, tasting absolutely nothing but my own shame. I’m pitiful.
“Excited about today? Nervous?”
I lick the crumbs and leftover butter from my thumb. “You sure it’s alright that you bring Aiden today? I mean, I can figure it out if—”
Dad waves me off. “Don’t worry, it’s not a big deal. Plus, this way, you and Rory can focus and get in the right headspace before the tournament starts.”
I reach for another half slice of bread, needing something to do with my hands, so it appears like I have a reasonable excuse to not meet him eye to eye. “I mean, if there’s somewhere or…someonethat’s more important, I can always ask Finn to stop by…”
Does my probing come off as casual? I hope on everything, the world is on my side, and it comes out nonchalant. Inside, my nerves are a jumpy, uneasy mess.
I choke down the ball of carbs as I wait with fervor.
Finn had said he had left for a date. Who is this person? Was this their first one? How long has he been dating since he and Mom divorced? Worse, is it serious?
I shove away the last thought because even though I’ve lived with mom for the last three years, Dad and I still talk all the time, and not once has he ever mentioned a date or that he was even considering the idea of putting himself out there again.
This must be new. It has to be, right?
If this is the case, then how come he was able to casually—like it was no big deal—spill the news to Finn, but I get diddly squat and I’m his actual daughter?
A nada bed of nothingness is all that’s been shared with me on the subject.
Momentarily I debate being dramatic and slamming my fists to the table when he seems to have forgotten what words are and how to string them together in a sentence.
At this point, I don’t even need that though. A simple yes or no would suffice. Is he, or is he not dating?
The lines around his face go tight. “I can manage to take Aiden.”
Sure, he can handle this, but he couldn’t have the decency, the common courtesy, to share with me he went out, or rather, planned on meeting up with someone?
I cut straight to the chase. “Did you have a date the other night?”
Calmly. Too calmly does he set down his glass of orange juice, and I know. I see my answer before he has to explain.
My teeth grind. He did, he went out and refused to share it with me.
“Why, Dad?”
He doesn’t question it, already knowing what I’m referring to. “Hailey, I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now—”
My mouth hangs open and my eyes are lost as they springboard from the sockets. Awhile? He said awhile. How long is a while exactly? I need specifics. Days? Months? …Years?
What’s the correct report?
More importantly, how long have I been out of the loop? My lids ping-pong back and forth below me as I do my best to puzzle something—anythingto make sense of this.
“How could you not tell me?” I sound hurt and it’s because I am.
Dad visibly winces. “I never knew how to bring it up.”
Tufts of betrayal blur my vision.
“You never knew how, or you didn’twantto?” I challenge as dark bubbles of deception disguised as laughter threaten to burst from my mouth.
My pulse drums underneath my shirt to the lowest parts of my stomach.
