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Sorry, not sorry, Williams.
Thankfully for her, we are already almost to the spot. At least she is smart enough not to veer off, heading straight and following the path of lights, but it’s the principle.
This is my trip—my idea, and she’s making me regret coming out here and wanting to share this with her at all.
The endless amount of string lights set up for the party on the back of the property has helped quite a bit on our journey. You can blame this convenient fluke on Cole’s weird obsession with them. Ever since his mom died when we were kids, he’s been fascinated with the twinkling effect.
I never gave it much concern, but tonight, what must be thousands of string lights illuminate deep into the woods of our property.
I assumed they’d stop once we reached the cusp of trees, but instead, they go deep within them. Twinkling, they shine like stars above us. The real ones hidden underneath the thick foliage.
Pushing back the last branch in our way, I step through and let it swing back right in her face. A little payback. I guess I’m feeling pettier about her earlier actions than I thought.
The gazebo I’ve seen thousands of times before, with its wooden octagonal structure and ornamental detail. Hailey’s first reaction, however, is something I almost miss the chance to witness.
The annoyance quickly shifts into bewilderment and awe.
The rain starts to come down harder, pushing its way more between the leaves but I hardly notice, protected underneath the structure. Unlike me, she’s stopped completely, arching her head back and letting the droplet sprinkle her cheeks.
“Finn, this is…”
“Incredible,” I finish, only I’m not talking about the gazebo or the weather around us. Her, only her.
She pisses me off, and in the next moment, everything is right in the world, and I never want it to end. A cycle, we’re on this endless loop, but I always end up finding my way back.
The rain pelts us both, smacking against our skin as the slanted buckets continue to pour harder and with more aggression every new second. I’ve given up on my shelter going after her.
“Here,” I offer blindly, trying to hand over my thicker, mostly dry suit jacket.
Her hair is completely damp now. The blueness of her dress dulled by the intense downpour. In all this, though, for once, she doesn’t seem to care, not about her clothes, her shoes, makeup, or hair. She’s spinning and laughing and smiling.
Hailey’s energy is contagious.
“You’re going to catch a cold,” I holler over her squeals of glee.
“That’s a myth,” she singsongs, still spinning, her hair whipping across her cheeks. Her arms are stretched wide and welcoming the flood above.
“Try explaining that to our son when you get pneumonia,” I joke. Her spinning comes to a halt when I plant my jacket over her shoulders. She may not care if she gets sick, but I do.
Hailey watches me, and I stare back.
My heart starts to beat so loud in this moment. I swear, even past the rain, she can hear how it thrums.
“Why do we always argue?”
Her question is honest, one I’ve wondered myself hundreds of times.
My hand strengthens its grip around the lapel’s thin cashmere. “Because we matter. Because we aren’t perfect. Because we make mistakes, and we keep trying to control things we cannot.”
Her eyes glow deep and strong. Her face is flushed so intensely that it stains my soul.
“You’re crazy!” she decides, yelling past the downpour.
“If I am, then you’re the one who’s made me mad,” I promise, absolute in this one thing. Rain pelts around us, but it’s nothing compared to how the world ignites. My world. The one directly in front of me. “Hailey,weare a failure.”
“Why would I want to be part of a failure? Don’t I deserve happiness? Success?” Her voice is so soft, so different from her outburst moments before. She gulps, a world of hurt in her gaze. The pain deeper than just from her and me.
I would shake her if I knew it could refute this ideal she has in her head. Shove away this mindset she’s put in place.
