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“You’re welcome to stay until you find another place. It’s no problem, but mould is something to take seriously. I have to be careful with keeping Jerome warm. Speaking of which, I can move him into the little room so you’ve more space.”
Hayden was shocked when Ashok touched his hand and spoke. “I really do appreciate the offer, but I’m OK where I am. I don’t have much; I don’t need much. Just a bed to rest my head each night. I’m grateful for your help, but I can’t help but feel I’m taking advantage, so let’s work out how much to pay you. I’d feel much better about staying then.”
This was the most they’d spoken in a while, and not one word was hostile. If every day was like this, he would have no issue with Ashok staying permanently. He’d make sure it was affordable. It wasn’t like he needed the money, but Ashok needed a safe place to stay.
He looked a little closer at him. Gone were the bruises, leaving a face devoid of imperfection. Hayden didn’t think he’d seen anyone with such unblemished skin. Not even a trace of stubble on his face. His amber eyes seemed to swirl in the light, framed by impossibly long eyelashes. If only things were different. If he could allow himself to fall, it would be for him.
Silence stretched between them for what seemed like an hour but was probably only a few seconds, Ashok breaking it, moving his hand away. His look had been soft in return, or was it just hopefulness that someone had seen past the facade Hayden carried? He felt, given a chance, he could probe into his very soul and reveal his deepest, darkest secrets. Secrets he’d kept hidden for years.
They both resumed eating. Hayden felt a truce of sorts had been achieved. Gone was the feeling of animosity that had lingered between them. He smiled, happy with how things were, his smile growing as he saw Ashok do the same.
This roommate thing could actually work.
***
“Hey, Hayden. How do you fancy a night out?” Dom called over to him, patting the chair next to him.
It’d been a couple of days since the meal where everything had changed between them. Life at home was more relaxed, both of them spending more time together when theywerehome. He thought Ashok was more comfortable, too. He’d been playing music while he cooked and had taken to dancing a little, too. Something that Hayden was more than happy to watch. He wore a confidence he’d not seen before, and he liked it.
“I’m always up for a night out. You know that. When are we going?”
“We thought we could go to Heaven. It’s been ages. Thought we could have a ‘Welcome to the Team’ party for Ashok this Saturday. You in?”
“Yeah, I’m in. Text me the details. I need to help out serving.”
He shoved back his chair and got up from the table, walking over to the counter.
“What can I get you?” he asked, smiling at the young woman. He felt excited to be going out, especially seeing as Ashok would be there too. Maybe he wouldn’t feel so much of an interloper.
He couldn’t take his eyes off Ashok as he served. He looked more at ease and was even laughing at something Dom was saying, joining in with the conversation. He was so intent on watching him he didn’t notice the jug he was filling with milk was overflowing across the counter.
“What’s going on?” Angela asked, grabbing a cloth to clean it up. “You’re distracted.”
“I’m not. I’m fine.” He carried on making the hot chocolate before handing it to the customer.
“You keep telling yourself that. I see you staring, Hayden. He’s nice, I have to admit. Is he gay? Bi?”
“I wasn’t staring. We’re just roommates, nothing more, and I’ve no idea.” It was true. They were just roommates, but he wondered, not for the first time, what it’d be like to have someone to care for.
“Erm, yes you were, and you keep telling yourself that.” She finished mopping up the milk and shooed him away. “You’re making a right mess. Go do something in your office!”
She was right, and he walked back into his office, closing the door behind him. He sat heavily in his chair, rubbing his hands through his hair. What the hell was wrong with him? How could someone he’d spent so little time with be affecting him so much?
As for the night out, they could go together, probably walk as it wasn’t that far. To be honest, though, every time he went out with his friends, he’d been feeling left out, like a spare dick at a wedding. He’d invariably spend the night sitting at the bar drinking, looking for something, but he wasn’t sure what these days.
As much as he loved his friends, maybe it was time for him to move on, find himself some single friends or, a more frightening thought, find himself a partner.
***
The club was busy and rowdy, but it was Saturday after all. It was coming up to midnight, and he was more than ready to go home. Seb and Dom had spent most of the evening on the dancefloor, Jacob and Joe in some deep discussion over whatever it was they had in common. Ashok had danced too, but most of the evening he’d sat at their table drinking sparkling water. He looked slightly uncomfortable. Hayden got the impression he didn’t go out much, but when he was out on the floor dancing, he came alive and Hayden had found it hard to tear his eyes from him.
His long hair was once again up in a messy bun, his face perfect as always. The outrage Hayden felt when he remembered the angry bruising on his face had him clenching his fists, his fingernails digging into his palms. Ashok wore tight-fitting jeans that clung to every inch and a plain black T-shirt under a short, biker-style jacket that he’d removed when he danced. He looked good enough to eat.
Hayden had watched him all night, not saying much to him, the loud music not conducive to conversation. He thought Ashok hadn’t noticed, but many times, he’d caught Ashok watching him too. He didn’t know what to think. What did it all mean? It likely meant nothing.
He should try and talk to him.
“You not dancing?” He slid along the bench seat and sat next to him, trying to make conversation.
