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They’d fallen into a relationship based on forced proximity and gratitude, and Ashok had never felt so alone, despite being surrounded by people that wanted to be his friend. He’d always found it hard to form any kind of lasting relationship, and that included his family. Only his mum understood him, and right now he needed to talk to her. She’d understand.
The situation with Hayden had moved so quickly, going from roommates to lovers in a matter of weeks. It was too much too soon, although he’d not exactly discouraged it. His emotions were in turmoil.
He lay under the covers in his bed, unable to sleep. Hayden had left for work hours ago, and instead of getting up, he lay there, debating whether he should call her. Life shouldn’t be this hard, although he knew he was more fortunate than most.
Some of the kids they taught at the studio were there by the good grace of Seb. Kids whose parents couldn’t afford the fees, but they took them in anyway, gave them something to look forward to. Dance had done that for him too. Took him away from the sadness in his life even if it had to be a secret. His mother took him when his father was at work, hiding his talent away.
It had been a few days since he’d had any contact with her, but sometimes the only thing a boy needed was his mum.
“Ashok, my darling. How are you?”
“I’m OK, I suppose. I just needed to hear a friendly voice.”
“You have no friends there? I thought you were staying with some.”
“Oh, I am. I just missed you, Mum.” A lump formed in his throat as he thought of her hundreds of miles away. His mum, who had always been there for him, throughout everything. His abusive father, the ‘mugging’ and everything else that had happened in his life.
“My boy. I miss you too. Tell me what you’ve been up to? How is the dancing going and those lovely children?”
“It’s going well. I’m loving it, Mum. It was the right decision.”
“Of course it was. You couldn’t have stayed; you know that. He was getting worse. The business wasn’t doing so well, and you know how he gets.”
“Please tell me you moved away, Mum. You promised me you were leaving him.” Ashok feared the worst, that she’d stayed and things hadn’t changed one bit for her.
“And I did, Ashok. I went to stay with your aunt for a couple of days.”
“But you went back to him? I thought you said…”
“He said he’d get some help.”
“And you believed him?” By now, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his long hair. “What did he do to you?”
“It was nothing, Ashok. He’s been seeing someone, and he’s not as bad as he was.”
“But he’s still beating you, Mum. You promised me.” Ashok’s voice rose, as did his anger at his father and his inability to keep his fists to himself.
“No, darling. It’s fine. He seems better. He really does.” She couldn’t see it. He’d never change. He would always be the one to control her, and he didn’t know what to do for his mum. “He’d like to talk to you.”
“No.” He stood quickly, panic filling him. “I can’t. I moved to get away from him and my stupid brothers. Don’t ask me to do that, Mum.”
“You’re his son, Ashok. He still loves you, ” his mum pleaded.
“He never loved me. How could he do those things to me if he loved me?” By now, tears streamed down his face. The one phone call that was supposed to make him feel better had turned into a complete shit show.
“Please, Ashok.”
“I won’t, Mum. Don’t ask me to do that,” he whispered. He couldn’t continue with the conversation, troubled she’d even ask him to do that. “I’m begging you not to tell him where I am. I’ll never forgive you if you do. Please, Mum.”
When there was no reply, just silence, he thought his mum had gone.
“He’s your father, Ashok.”
“No, he’s not, Mum. I can’t talk to you right now.” Before she could say any more, he ended the call, unsettled by the conversation. He felt sick, worried his mum would reveal his location to his father, and he hoped against hope that Hayden was wrong, that he’d let him go.
Regardless of whether or not his father was seeking help, he didn’t trust him one bit. He would know just the right things to say to his mum to make her think he’d changed. He was manipulative and calculating. It was how he’d got on, both in his personal and business life.
Ashok was lucky today was his day off. He didn’t think for one moment he’d be able to teach, his enthusiasm for everything gone in the blink of an eye. Maybe he should leave Chester, find somewhere else, but this time, not tell anyone where he was going. He wouldn’t live his life in fear. Not again.
