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Maude felt a frisson ofsomething. She knew that she was being asked to join dots but she had a cold feeling that she wasn’t going to like the big picture.
‘Yes, well, that was never my intention.’
‘What was never your intention?’
‘Like I told you when I...er...came to see you to tell you about the baby, I wasn’t asking anything of you. I had no intention of disrupting your life.’
Mateo’s eyebrows shot up.
‘That was a little short-sighted, Maude.’
‘There’s really no need for you to...to...’
‘Ah, but you’re missing the point, my darling.’ His eyes hardened. ‘There iseveryneed to. You obviously thought that you were dealing with a different kind of guy when you broke the news to me. You maybe thought that you were dealing with someone with very elastic moral guidelines.’
‘Of course not!’
‘You’re not. I may have enjoyed myself playing the field, because I never had any interest in settling down, but that never meant that I was someone who might be happy to relinquish responsibility in a situation like this in favour of continuing with my old patterns of behaviour.’
His dark eyes glittered like jet and absolute intent was stamped on every feature. ‘Like I said, I grew up in a single parent family. I know what it’s like to long for what I saw other kids have—two parents. It’s one thing for two people to end up divorced, for whatever reason. It’s a completely different matter for a child to have never been given a window into what a united family might look like.
‘You’ve made your mind up, and I can’t frog march you up an aisle, but Icanandintend todo everything within my power to make this situation as good as possible for the child we will share. It therefore goes without saying that my days of playing the field are over. In due course, I will doubtless find someone with whom to build a unit. It might not be the ideal unit, but it will be a unit. As you say, it’s a sign of the times—children moving between families, bonding with step-brothers and -sisters. These things happen. Life goes on.’
Maude’s mouth dropped open as these bare facts were laid out before her with ruthless efficiency.
What had she expected?
Had she thought that he would somehow remain in a vacuum, a part-time father doing his own thing, accommodating her while she got on with her life and conveniently never settling down?
Here he was. He had willingly taken the first of the big steps and he wasn’t sorry about it, wasn’t voicing any regrets for the lifestyle he’d be leaving behind.
He would move into the perfect cottage, having thrown money at it, with the perfect garden where a perfect kids’ swing set would sit nestled amidst perfectly pruned apple and pear trees, and he would integrate into the community, doubtless becoming the man of the moment and the resident of the year.
Why wouldn’t he? He was beyond wealthy, interested in doing his bit for the town and eligible beyond description.
Maude felt faint at the picture gathering shape in her head. Women would be falling at his feet. A sinfully rich, sinfully handsome guy without a wedding ring on his finger, pushing a baby in a pram and in search of a partner? The queue of women lining up to net him would stretch for miles. All that would be needed to finish off the enticing image would be a cute puppy on a lead in tow.
Her heart was thundering inside her.
He thought thatshewould likewise move on in her search for Mr Right because wasn’t that the whole point of her rejecting his marriage proposal—the fact that she wanted love to be part and parcel of the deal?
He would never be constrained by concerns like that. A man who wasn’t in search of love could easily find a suitable wife, and she could see that he would be a faithful and principled husband.
‘You’ve gone a little green round the gills, Maude. Have something else to eat and we can change the subject, move on to less contentious issues. Although, in fairness, it is a subject we will have to return to at some point...’
Maude’s anxious gaze collided with concerned dark eyes and she licked her lips, debating which way forward to go.
What had she done? Could she really spend a lifetime watching as Mateo, this guy she loved with all her heart, settled into a life from which she would be excluded? Life with another woman by his side—how on earth would she ever be able to bear that?
In pursuit of the ideal, what would she end up sacrificing and what would their child end up missing out on?
She had seen the situation through hopelessly blinkered lenses. Presented with a marriage proposal she had never envisioned—a proposal where no words of love had been exchanged, no passionate getting down on one knee and asking for her hand—she had fast forwarded to a vision of a miserable marriage in which her heart ached permanently for what she wanted and what was on offer. Mateo, growing restless, would descend into resentment about a situation he hadn’t asked for and, trapped in the middle, good intentions or no good intentions, a child would bind them together.
How happy would that childhood be? she had asked herself. Kids picked up on stuff. In time, when everything inevitably fell apart, how much more damage would they inadvertently have caused?
She had stuck to her guns because everyone deserved love and marriage, whatever the circumstances, should never be a trap. She had failed to see a middle ground, which was the one Mateo would now occupy. One in which there could be contentment, harmony and...who knew?...over time, maybe not the crazy love she had for him but something like love, couldn’t there?
The alternative...the one he had just presented to her, made her blood run cold.
