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“Nothing’s broken down,” I said, sounding broken down as hell.
He replaced his glass and scrutinized me with his light blue eyes, eyes that missed very little, especially since we were longtime friends.
“I warned you,” he said.
“Shut the fuck up.”
We sat in silence for five minutes, drinking and watching the game, occasionally looking around the bar. I used to look around bars to measure women’s attractiveness, to gauge submissive potential as they grew drunker and let their guard down. I used to look for party girls and sluts. Now I was looking, pointlessly, for Juliet, for someone sweet and unique and emotionally confrontational. I was looking for what used to be my nightmare. It was time to admit the reason why.
“I want to get back together with Juliet,” I told Devin. “I mean, I’d like to try…try to work things out between us.”
“Are you drunk, or just spouting stupid ideas for the fun of it? Either way—”
“I’m not drunk and I’m not joking. I need to see her again, see if there’s anything that can be salvaged.”
“Then go see her.” Devin leaned away from me, like my neediness might be contagious. “You know where she lives. Go knock on her door.”
“She’s not there, hasn’t been there in a while. Maybe she’s moved.”
“Have you tried calling her?”
“I’m blocked.”
“Contact her through her boss?”
“He won’t talk to me. When I asked where she was, he yelled something about whales and rainbows and told me to leave her alone.”
Dev took a deep drink of his beer, avoiding my eyes. I could still read his thoughts loud and clear.If she’s moved out of her apartment and blocked you, you should probably leave her alone.
“I’ve changed,” I said. “I’m not that guy who left her at The Gallery.”
Devin snorted. “You’re still that guy. I’m looking at you, and you’re still the same guy. A little hornier, perhaps. Too bad you were banned. Nona was asking about you last Saturday.”
“Fuck Nona,” I said with a flare of temper. “I’ve changed, and that’s an example of why, because I don’t fucking want Nona. I don’t want anyone but Juliet, and I’m about to lose my fucking mind because she blocked my number and she’s somewhere I can’t find her, and I don’t know if she’s okay or if she’s a fucking mess—”
Dev held up a hand. “Listen, Fort. If she needed you, if she wanted you, she’d let you know.”
“No, she wouldn’t, because she doesn’t realize I’ve changed.”
“Holy shit, you’re a fucking butterfly come out of a cocoon, is that it?”
“Yes, that’s exactly it.”
Our voices had risen in the crowded bar, drowning out the soccer commentator’s excitable drone. We ignored the surrounding scowls, returning to our drinks. I tore pieces off the edge of a napkin, working up to the reason I’d asked him to meet me here.
“Dev,” I finally said. “Is there any way you can, I don’t know… Use your airline connections to find out where she is?”
His eyes widened, and he laughed. “Myairline connections?”
“Your father owns the largest airline in the world. Don’t you have access to airport computers and travel records, maybe rental car records?”
He shook his head. “Not really. They encrypt that shit. You’ll have to go higher than me, friend. Know anyone at the CIA? If you say she’s a terrorist, they’ll find her for you real quick.”
“It’s not funny.” I scowled at him. “I need to find her.”
“Why?” He sat back in his chair and fixed me with a look. “You had her and decided you didn’t want her. She was too much for you, and you left her. The romance is over, and I doubt she’d have you back.”
“I lied to her.” I admitted it through clenched teeth. “I said I didn’t love her, but I think I do.”
