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“Please, don’t. Don’t tell me these things never happen, because they obviously happen.”
He glowered at me, stark naked, his towel slung over his shoulder. I still had my towel wrapped around my body, and I clutched it close, feeling scared. He actually thought he’d be able to get me on a plane? What was wrong with him? Was he crazy?
He shook his head and walked away, going for his clothes, dressing for a flight he’d take later, a flight I wouldn’t be on. He must understand that. I couldneverget on another plane, or a boat, or anything that would take me over the vast, unforgiving ocean that lapped this island’s shore.
Tears welled in my eyes as I stepped into my panties and then pulled a pair of jeans over my sore butt. I rummaged for a fresh t-shirt, and came up with one that saidAstrophysicists Do It With Large Objects, a going-away gift from my Via Sofferenza friends. I shoved that back under the pile and chose a plain, faded blue one.
“Do you mind going to your own room now?” I said. “I need to do some work.”
“Yes, I fucking mind.”
His sharp reply took me aback. “Are you angry with me?”
“Angry? No. Confused. A little annoyed with the way you run hot and cold.” He glanced down at his shirt, also a faded blue tee. We looked like twins. He snorted and poked the air between us. “We’ve had sex twice now. I’ve fucked every one of your holes, twice without protection. I saved your life, and you don’t trust me?”
“I trust you. I don’t trust airplanes!”
“I’m telling you, they’re safe. Air travel is the safest form of transportation, safer even than walking. What happened yesterday was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.”
“Why does this matter so much to you?” I raised my voice, cutting him off. “If you want to get on a plane and fly to New York, then do it. That’s fine, I won’t stop you, but I’m not going. I’m staying here.”
Even as I said it, I knew I sounded ridiculous. I couldn’t stay in the Azores forever, only because I was afraid to fly.
“You’re going with me,” he said, yelling across the gap between us. After all we’d done together, all the ways he’d groped me, we couldn’t seem to touch each other in our matching shirts. “I said I’d get you to New York, and I’m going to get you to New York.”
“You don’t need to get me to New York,” I said. “I’m thirty years old. I have a doctorate in astrophysics and cosmology. I’m a grown-up person and I’ll be fine.”
“Grown-up people fly on airplanes,” he snapped.
I took a step back, trying to understand why he made me feel so harried, so scattered. It wasn’t only my fear of flying, and that he was a pilot. It was fear ofhim, fear of his skill at taking over my body. As we stood there, glaring at each other, I imagined gravitational waves crashing between us, red and angry and jagged. I could lose myself in him, in this man whose career was based on my deepest phobia.
“Don’t come closer,” I said, when he moved to take me in his arms.
“Why? Afraid I’ll hurt you? You liked it well enough before.”
He embraced me, holding me tighter when I struggled.
“You’re making my dick hard,” he said against my ear. “Keep fighting me, and you won’t like how things turn out. Or maybe you will, you little maso.”
I stopped squirming and let him hold me against his chest. I felt weak and tired. Scared. If I were the crying type, I would have cried.
“Listen,” he said, rubbing my shoulders. “We need to get off this island, if for no other reason than I want to take you to this kink club in New York. Ineedto take you there. Jesus, you would love it, but you can’t get there from here.”
“What kind of kink club?”
“A private BDSM club in Manhattan. It’s beautiful, three floors in a clock tower at the top of a skyscraper. It’s like Via Sofferenza, only even more intense. Every man in there is a Dominant, every female a submissive, and no one uses safe words.”
“What?” I looked up at him. “Really?”
“Yeah, that’s the kind of place it is. It’s about stretching your boundaries, about basking in pleasure and pain. Want to go?”
Private. Intense. No safe words.I’d heard of such places, but never believed they really existed. “What’s this club called?” I asked.
“I’m not telling you if you won’t fly out of here. You can’t get in without a sponsor anyway, and I’m not sponsoring you unless you get on the plane.” His kneading hands moved down my back, a stimulating touch. “Trust me, this place was made for a kinky masochist like you. We’ll exchange numbers, and I’ll take you there some weekend, when you have time off from your gravitational experiments and scientific brainstorms, or whatever the fuck you do.”
The temptation was there. The curiosity. The desire to keep in contact with this enthralling, sadistic Dominant. If I got on that plane, we could keep playing together in New York, and who knew what heights of arousal I might reach?
But I couldn’t get on the plane. I knew that for a fact. Even now, the slightest thought of it triggered that sensation of dropping through the sky, the engines quiet, the oxygen mask pressed to my face, and Captain Ross’s whispered prayers…
