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“I’m not that innocent,” she insisted, standing her ground in her ridiculously innocent white nightie. If she knew how much I wanted to tear it off her…
“Alice.” I rubbed my eyes. “Go to bed. This is a part of myself that I want to keep separate from you. Please respect that.”
“I don’t want to,” she said, her voice trembling. “I’m trying to tell you that I’m into what you’re into. I mean, I could be into it. I’m really interested in BDSM and power exchange, and I think it would be awesome to play with you. You know, do a ‘scene.’”
She was throwing out vocabulary, trying to sound like she knew what she was talking about. Poor, misguided girl.
“I don’t know how to say this without sounding mean, Alice, but if you’re justinterested, then you’re not playing on my level.”
“I haven’t played at all,” she said, throwing up her hands. “But I would, with you. I understand you so much more now. I understand your dominant manner, your intensity, the way you talk to people—”
“You don’t understand anything.” I sounded harsh, but I couldn’t soften the words I was saying. “I’ve been doing this shit for years, and participated in ‘scenes’ you couldn’t even begin to imagine. I go to a club that’s for experienced players. I like things you wouldn’t like. No, I know you wouldn’t like them,” I added, when she opened her mouth to speak. I got out of the bed, my erection disappeared from sheer angst. “You should go to bed.” I guided her toward my door. Her bare arm felt warm and soft under my palm as I urged her along. “We’re both going to forget that you went into my dungeon, and that we had this conversation.”
“But…if this is the reason we can’t be together…”
“Alice.”
“You kissed me once. We made out. Your body told me you wanted me.” Tears formed in her eyes, even as she stubbornly set her teeth. “You kissed me like you loved me. I don’t understand why this has to stand between us. Love overcomes everything.”
Damn it. I couldn’t deal with her tears. I took her face in my hands. “Love can’t overcome this. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But I want you to hurt me. Hurt me!” Her voice had risen to a cry, her tears spilling over. “What you’re into—it can’t hurt any worse than never having you when I love you so much.”
She didn’t get it. She didn’t understand, but she wasn’t going to leave it alone, and I wanted to fuck her every minute of every day.
Fine. I’d fuck her, just once, just to release the sexual tension that had built up between us. I’d let her “have me,” so she could get over it, but I wouldn’t hurt her. I’d control myself, and she’d see that I was a man like any other, that pining after me wasn’t worth her tears.
No, that’s a horrible idea. Send her to her own room. Don’t fuck her.
It was too late. My fingers drove into her hair, messing up her pretty little braids. I pressed against her in the doorway, my hot skin cooled by her virginal white nightgown. Blue slunk away down the hall, to his bed in the living room, because he always ran away from things that unsettled him.
“You want me, don’t you?” she asked in a small voice, searching my gaze.
“I want you too damn much.” I meant it as a warning. For emphasis, I pressed my swollen cock against her belly, hard, but she wasn’t deterred. I needed someone to step in and stop me, right now, but there was no one but us, and I was lost in the scent and feel of her body.
“This is such a bad idea,” I said, fingering the hem of her cotton nightie. “A horrible idea. We shouldn’t do this.”
“We were always going to do this.”
“Damn you.” I inched her nightgown up, running my fingers over the tops of her thighs. As long as I stayed in control, I could go slow, treat her like a lady, all that shit she’d expect from me.
“We’re not going to my dungeon,” I ground out. “We’re not doing any BDSM shit.”
She gave me a look that said,oh, really, because I was already pressing her against the doorjamb with too much force. “Just take me,” she said. “That’s what I want.”
Fine. I was going to take her. She wanted it, I wanted it, and my bed was just a few footsteps away. She started to pull off her nightgown, but I stopped her.
“Come here. Come with me.” She looked at me in confusion as I dragged her toward the bed. “I want you to leave it on, because I don’t want to go too fast.”
“I want you to go fast.”
I pulled her against me and pressed a finger over her lips. “You’d better fucking behave.”
Already, as I held her, I had one of her arms twisted behind her back in some instinctive urge to control. She pressed into me, her gorgeous tits rubbing against my chest. I willed the monster inside me to calmness and released her long enough to guide her back onto the bed. My cock was ablaze. Fuck, I needed a condom. Too many days of foreplay had me ready to fall on her and impale her, thrusting like a beast.
No, I needed this to last longer.
I needed her naked.
