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I’d just gotten off work, and I was tired as hell. We were busy for my entire shift. That was a good thing though, because it helped the time fly by. It made a ten-hour shift feel like two hours. I went to the couch and flopped on it then took off my shoes. “They working you like a Hebrew slave, huh? How are you feeling, besides tired?”
“I’m okay.”
“Jungle gave a lawyer my phone number. He wasn’t sure if you still needed his help. Y’all not talking no more?”
“I stopped talking to him. I’m sure you’re happy about that. I want more than just his friendship. I’m sick of that shit. I don’t need his help.”
“Jenetta… shit. Chelsea, stop being so fucking proud, man. They are taking you to court. I can’t even stand to look at that nigga right now. He said it was Kaysyn’s decision, but I know he’s encouraging that shit.”
“I don’t want to talk about them. That only makes me angrier. I plan to do everything they wanna believe that I’m going to do. I’m tired of being miserable. Being able to hug my daughter will mean the world to me.”
“You sure you’ll be able to handle that? Having a kid is a big responsibility.”
“When you have kids of your own, then talk to me about that shit. I’m getting my daughter. Fuck them.”
“Well in about seven months, I will.”
I frowned, trying to figure out what the fuck he was talking about. This conversation had me in an even worse mood than I was already in. I missed the hell out of Jungle, but as long as nothing was changing, I had to keep my distance. He’d left me a voicemail yesterday, asking me to call him. My smile was on hiatus, and everyone at work had noticed. Them pestering me about what was wrong only irritated me more.
“Jericho, what are you talking about?”
“You said when I have kids of my own to talk to you about that shit. In seven months or so, I will. Whitney’s pregnant.”
My eyebrows lifted, and while I wanted to be excited, I just couldn’t be right now. “Congratulations, brother.”
“Aww! Felisitasyon, bebe!” Manman said, congratulating him.
She hugged him tightly as my phone chimed, alerting me of a deposit into my account. I figured Jericho had made a deposit as he normally did. However, when I opened the message to clear the notification and saw that it was a three-thousand-dollar deposit, I knew it was Jungle putting that money back.
I rolled my eyes and stomped off to my bedroom while Jericho and Mama watched me. If he only knew what I did to get that fucking money, he would probably never talk to me again. My supervisor had been hounding me since day one about being my fucking sugar daddy. He didn’t call it that, but he was older than Jungle. I’d declined every time until Sunday evening. Although nothing had happened yet, he fronted me three grand.
I already regretted the shit because I acted on impulse… because I was in my fucking feelings. It was too late for regrets though. I knew I would have to pay up soon. On my break, I’d gone to the liquor store and got a money order. Jungle had done so much for us. Somehow, I had to pay him back. I knew he’d spent well over three grand on us, but it was a start. I wanted to pay him everything I felt he spent and wasted on us… including his time.
He hated wasting his time, and I felt like I’d done just that by agreeing to something based on what I thought it could become. I wanted to call him, but I knew I would feel worse by the time the call ended. I loved Jungle, and he was too stubborn to go for what I knew he wanted. If he were honest with himself, he would be able to admit that he wanted me just as badly as I wanted him.
I couldn’t focus on him right now though. I had other shit going on that was more important. In a couple of weeks, my daughter would be moving in with us. I had faith that I would be holding her in my arms, assuring her that everything would be okay. After flopping on my bed, there was a knock on the door. I knew it was Jericho. I didn’t respond, because I didn’t feel like being bothered. I needed time alone.
I had a Zoom session with Isaiah tomorrow morning, and I wanted to get my emotions in check before then. I hated crying in front of people. Jericho, Manman, Whitney, and Jungle had seen more than enough of my tears. I wasn’t trying to add to the list. While I knew that I was strong, I felt so weak concerning Jericka. She was my daughter. I’d bonded with her, and that bond hadn’t weakened.
After knocking again, he said, “Chelsea, can I come in? Please?”
I huffed then went to the door, opening it for him. He immediately pulled me in his arms and said, “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“Being insensitive. I just want you to be happy. It seems you haven’t been. Well, it doesn’tseemlike you’ve been unhappy; Iknowyou’ve been unhappy. If you believe you can handle taking care of Jericka, then go for it. I’ll always have your back, even when you think I don’t. I haven’t been face-to-face with Seneca since you got that notice about a fucking court date, and he denied it being his idea. I’m afraid that shit won’t go well.”
“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that me being in your life is destroying relationships with the people you’ve considered family. I’m just fucking up all the way around. It seems I was used to someone telling me what to do and when I could do it. Now I have too much freedom to do what I want, and I’m causing trouble. First Jungle, and now Kaysyn and Seneca. Maybe I was meant to be subdued… be a loner.”
“Naw. Don’t fucking say that shit,” he said as he pulled away from me, holding me by my shoulders in front of him. “You’re supposed to be right where you are. You deserve love. Anyone who can’t see that, fuck them. I need you to see your worth, baby girl. You are so deserving of every good thing. Every good thing,” he reiterated as he pulled me close.
I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around him and let the tears escape me. This wasn’t me. I had to pull myself together and move on with my life. I just didn’t know if I could move on without Jericka. I probably wouldn’t have a choice. My confidence was crumbling right before my eyes. She didn’t need to be in an environment that wasn’t conducive to her well-being.
After kissing my head, he pulled away from me, and I walked away from him to go to the bathroom. Grabbing my phone, I sent a message to Whitney.Congratulations on your pregnancy!Looking back at Jericho, I could see the worry in him by his scrunched eyebrows and the lines in his forehead. Before I could go into the bathroom, he said, “Mwen renmen ou.”
“I love you too.”
I walked in and closed the door behind me as Whitney texted back.Thank you, Chelsea! We’ll be getting married soon as well. Jericho won the wager that I would get pregnant. If he won, I had to marry him ASAP. So we’re planning to get married at the courthouse on your next off day that’s during the week.
