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When Jericho saw me at the wedding, he’d hugged me tightly, and I introduced him to Van. He didn’t seem to be feeling that introduction, but I didn’t care. He didn’t want me with Jungle, so he should have been happy that I was seeing someone else.
I’d given Van his money back yesterday, although he’d done his best to refuse it. I threatened to leave it at the grocery store for whomever wanted to pick it up, and that was why he took it. I turned to him and asked, “Are you ready?”
“If you are.”
He smiled slightly as I nodded then helped me from my seat. “Let me go tell Sandrene bye, then we can go.”
“Okay.”
Although we’d had sex, Van had been really sweet. Sex was somewhat different though. He wanted me to focus on him, but I found myself doing what I often did when I was being raped. I thought about someone else… Jungle. I could tell that Van was trying to analyze me in the moment. I didn’t make a sound during sex, and he really couldn’t tell if I was enjoying it. While I craved it, I didn’t know how to respond to it.
When the moment was over, I’d gone to his bathroom, cleaned up, and left. Sex wasn’t what I thought it would be, but I knew it was because I wasn’t having it with who I was meant to have it with. I knew Jungle would be sensitive to what I needed and help me through the moment I craved so badly. Van didn’t know what to think, because he didn’t know shit about me.
“Sandrene, I’m gonna go. Congratulations again. I’m so happy for you and Jamel.”
“Thank you, Chelsea! Hopefully, we can get together once we come back from our honeymoon. I hate that you didn’t make it out last night. Fawn and Amiko had to call for an Uber.”
She laughed as I smiled at her. She was so happy. “I wish I could have made it out.”
“Mm hmm. We have to talk about your date over there too. I need the details.”
I playfully rolled my eyes. “Yeah, we do. I love you, and I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Okay.”
I walked away to find Van standing in the same spot waiting for me. Before I could leave, Whitney caught up to me. “You were just going to leave without talking to me?”
“I’m sorry, Whitney,” I said as I hugged her. “My mind is all over the place.”
“I want you to be my maid of honor Wednesday. Do you have time to look at a dress I picked out later?”
“I guess so. Just call me,” I said as I glanced at Van.
I was debating on if I wanted to introduce them, but I guess I could since I’d introduced him to Jericho already. “Van, this is my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Whitney. She’s marrying my brother that you met earlier. Whitney, this is Van.”
She extended her hand as she smiled. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Same here,” he responded.
“See you later,” I said as she pulled me in again.
“We have to talk, sis.”
I nodded then walked away with Van. “Chelsea, are you okay?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
He nodded, but I could tell he wasn’t about to let that answer ride this time. After he opened the door for me, I got in the car, and he walked around to the driver side to get in as well. Once he started the engine, he turned to me. “I’m gonna ask again, but I don’t want the same answer, because it isn’t the truth. I’m not sure what the truth is, but I can clearly tell that you’re bothered.”
“But Iamokay. I don’t have a choice but to be.”
“You do have a choice. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. I don’t mind being your sounding board.”
“I’m not willing to be fully open to you. I have a lot in my past that I refuse to explain. So yes… I have to be okay.”
“Fine. Where to?”
“I need to go home. Thank you for coming to the wedding with me.”
