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While I still had nightmares about my abuse from time to time, it didn’t affect how I lived my life now that I was free to do what I wanted. I’d wake up sweating and fighting the sheets, but as soon as I realized it was a nightmare, I could calm down. It would take me a while to wound back down, but once I did, I’d go right back to sleep. My experiences were hard, but I’d made it, and I could only pray that nothing from my past would become a problem.
My phone started ringing, and I saw it was Manman calling. “Bonjou,” I said when I answered.
“Hey. Are you coming home tonight? If not, I will put the chain on the door.”
“I don’t know. I’m waiting on Jungle to come back. If you feel more comfortable with it on, go ahead, and I’ll just crash here.”
“Okay. I’m about to go to bed, and I definitely feel better with it on.”
“Good night, Mama.”
“Bòn nwi.”
She ended the call after saying good night, and I went back to the oversized sectional and tucked my feet under me. This house had become my home away from home. It was a two-level, open floorplan. The kitchen was enormous, especially for a man that could barely boil water. It was every chef’s dream, especially with the long bar area, separating it from the family room and the huge double ovens.
There were so many rooms, I used to get lost when I first started visiting regularly. However, I was never afraid to make myself comfortable, no matter which room I ended up in, especially in the home theater. Jungle had told me that he would always be sure to make sure I was comfortable wherever he was. I could respect his level of respect for Jericho. One of Jungle’s greatest qualities besides his looks was his loyalty. If he had you, you didn’t have shit to worry about.
We’d been in Houston for the past couple of months, and thanks to Jungle and Jericho, we didn’t want for anything. However, I wanted to be able to do for myself. I couldn’t expect either of them to continue taking care of me. If Jungle chose to be serious with a woman other than me, I knew him doing so much for me would be a problem. Although Jericho was my brother, I didn’t want to take advantage of his generosity either.
As I rested on the pillow, I heard the locks being disengaged. So to fuck with Jungle, I pretended to be asleep. He could say what he wanted, but I knew he was in his feelings about being stood up. He liked that skank, but he was too much of a fucking man to see she didn’t like him as much as he liked her. When I met her, I could see that shit immediately. Pussy always clouded their fucking vision.
Maybe I could see it because I wanted him so badly. I was willing to accept him being my friend just so I could be around him all the time. When I heard them talking, I closed my eyes and parted my lips. I’d pretended to be asleep more times than I could count in the past, so I was a damn professional at it.
“Jungle, Chelsea fell asleep on the couch,” I heard Vegas say.
After hearing Jungle’s heavy footsteps, it was quiet for a moment. “Her ass ain’t sleep.”
I wanted to laugh so bad, but I kept my composure until his ass started tickling me. “Jungle!” I screamed.
He laughed then picked me up, tossing me over his shoulder. “I’m going outside. I ain’t up for y’all bullshit,” Vegas said, clearly irritated.
When Vegas left, Jungle headed for the stairs. “I guess you staying here tonight. Manman probably knocked out.”
“Yeah. That cool?”
He lowered me to my feet in front of Fawn’s old room. “You know it’s cool. When have I ever told you that you couldn’t stay?”
“When yo’ friend here.”
“Damn, C-Mar. You didn’t think I would let you stay while I’m fucking somebody, would you?”
“You should be fucking me,” I said under my breath.
I didn’t think he heard me, but by his silent glare into my soul, I could clearly tell he did. “Man, don’t start that shit.”
“So it’s just shit?”
“Chelsea, come on na. I told you what it is. Why you won’t accept that shit?”
“Because it’s bullshit! You care about me as much as I care about you. You want to be with me as much as I want to be with you.”
I slid my hands up his chest, and he grabbed my wrists, holding them tightly. It bothered him that I wasn’t intimidated by anything he did. His lifestyle didn’t make me uncomfortable. I glanced down and could see his dick print. Instead of ignoring it, I lifted my leg and rubbed against it with my knee. “So this normally happens around people you consider friends?”
He swiftly grabbed me by the neck and pushed me against the door. The frown on his face was begging me to stop because his resolve was weak. I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to experience everything he had to offer. Opening the door, he pushed me inside the room and walked off. I was sure I had him this time. Maybe I should just give up. He seemed determined to avoid a relationship with me.
My shoulders slumped somewhat, accepting that these past three months had been me simply spinning my fucking wheels. It was my fault. He told me to leave it alone, and I didn’t listen, thinking I could convince him to give us a chance. I was so stupid, and this situation showed my immaturity in love. I just knew what I felt between us, but I couldn’t force him to act on it if he didn’t want to.
I quietly made my way downstairs, pausing to take a last look toward his bedroom. I didn’t know if I could continue being his friend without hope of anything developing between us. I fell for Jungle nearly at first sight. I didn’t know how to turn that off. When I reached the lower level, I grabbed my purse and walked outside, nearly running into Vegas.
