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“What are you doing here?” I attempted to keep my tone level. He didn’t need to know about the emotional shitstorm seeing him evoked in me.
“You and I need to talk.”
“How did you know where to find me?”
“I went to the registration desk. Kona thought you were in the cottage. When nobody answered there, I suspected I’d find you here. How many storms did we watch blow in from that balcony?”
He nodded behind me as memories flashed like lightning through my mind’s eye—us on the balcony, us in the bed that was mere feet away. I’d lost my virginity in that bed, to the man still standing in the doorway with an unsure expression on his face.
I didn’t know if it was because I’d cried every last tear and had none left for him or because I was curious about what he thought we could possibly need to talk about or because that bag of food smelled good enough to make my stomach growl, but I stepped back to let him in.
At that moment, it was as if the clouds opened up to prove they could rain even harder. A shift of the wind had drops pounding against the glass slider and, since I’d left the door open, into the room. It snapped me out of my stupor.
I rushed to the door and slid it shut, closing out the rain and muffling the noise of the storm. There were no lights on in the room, as the sun hadn’t set yet, but it was suddenly almost as dark as night.
Cash closed the door to the hallway, sealing us away from the world, and my heart pounded. I wasn’t afraid of him, not physically, but I’d never, ever expected to be this close to him again, let alone shut in a small inn room crammed full of memories.
I watched in silence as he took the few short steps to the dresser and set down the bag—two bags, I realized. Then he reached to the lamp and flipped it on low as if it hadn’t been a decade and a half since he’d been in the room.
“You’re drenched,” I said stupidly, taking in his wet navy-blue T-shirt that molded to his thick chest and flat abdomen.
“Yeah.” He shook his head as if it couldn’t matter less. “I want to apologize for this morning. I was distracted and nearly plowed you over.”
“It’s okay. Barely a blip on my radar,” I lied, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the glass door.
“I’m sorry about your aunt.”
I nodded curtly and said, “Thanks. I appreciate that, but you didn’t have to come all the way out here to say it.”
He studied me for a moment with those greenish-brown eyes that I’d long ago thought of as dreamy. I didn’t want to like them now, but I couldn’t deny there seemed to be genuine concern in them that threatened to get to me.
“That’s not the only thing.” Cash cleared his throat, leading me to believe he was uncomfortable. He turned his back to the dresser, resting his butt against it, his hands braced behind him on the edge of it, looking…so painfully handsome.
He couldn’t have caught me at a weaker moment. I was raw and barely breathing, waiting for him to say more or leave. Preferably leave, because no matter how irrational it was that he could affect me in any positive way after all this time, oh, fucking hell, did he affect me. My mouth was bone-dry and my heart raced like a thoroughbred horse in Kentucky.
I’d been back to town a few times over the years, but I’d tried to stay close to the inn whenever possible. This—he—was one of the biggest reasons.
“This is awkward,” he said, his voice a low rumble.
“You brought food?” I prompted, hoping to hurry him along.
“I’ll get to that. Ava, I’m sorry I was such an asshole before I left for basic training.”
I pressed my lips together, trying to figure out how to respond. I hadn’t expected an apology, hadn’t expected him to bring up the past at all, and I wasn’t sure how much good it could do now. “That’s water under the bridge, don’t you think?”
“The look on your face when you saw me this morning said otherwise.”
My burning eyes popped wide open. Did he think I still had feelings for him? After all this time? I let out a hollow laugh. “It’s been seventeen years. I was married to another man, Cash. I haven’t been pining away—”
“That’s not what I mean. There was anger or maybe dislike in your eyes, and I get it. I deserve that. But I’d like to try to make peace.”
“Just…wipe out the past? Just like that? I don’t know if I can do that. You…” I sucked in a breath. Were we really doing this? Right now? After all this time and when I was so wrung out I was verging on numb?
“I what? What were you going to say?” he asked.
He wanted to go there? Okay. Maybe I did have some things to air out. “You not only broke my heart, Cash, but you cured me of my naiveté. You made me feel like a foolish little girl who’d woven my dreams around a big, fat load of BS. We’d talked about getting married, even after you decided to enlist. I actually thought you were going to propose that night before you left, not dump me.”
His lids lowered and his expression seemed regretful, but what did I know? I’d read him wrong all those years ago. I liked to think I was wiser now, but maybe Cash Henry was an expert at making me believe whatever he wanted me to believe.
