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Not a fucking thing. It wouldn’t change that her dream job is in California and your livelihood is here in Tennessee.
All it would do was complicate a no-win situation.
Ava would be fine without me. She had so much to accomplish, and I wanted her to accomplish the hell out of all of it. I knew she would kick some Hollywood ass and take names. I wasn’t about to do anything that would distract her from her goals.
Right decision. The way it had to be.
Enough internal whining.Jesus.
I needed to get the hell out of there before her ride arrived, before she climbed into some generic car with some generic driver and drove away from me. I couldn’t watch it. Didn’t want that to be the last image in my head of Ava, at least until the next time she was back in town and I happened to run into her on the sidewalk or at the bar or…
Fuck.
“Come here,” I said.
She walked into my arms and pressed her face into my chest and I just fucking held on. No words would make this better. I didn’t know if she was feeling the same dread I was. Asking wouldn’t make anything better, even if we hadn’t agreed to not address it.
I blew out a breath, determined to make this suck less. Ava was making her dreams come true. Not only was Inotgoing to stand in her way but I was going to send her off with the hope and optimism she deserved. I wanted her walking out of here feeling on top of the world as she went to take on the job she was meant for. It was more than a job for her; it was a passion.
I pulled back and grasped her shoulders, looking her in the eye. “You’re going to kill it, Ava.” Managing to smile, I continued, “I can’t wait to watch every episode and pause it whenHead Writer—Ava Deanpops up on the screen so I can think,I knew her when.”
Ava’s beautiful dark-chocolate eyes lit up and a grin crawled across her pretty face, growing bigger and truer.Thatwas the Ava I wanted to remember.Thatwas the picture I needed burned in my mind. Well, that and the one where she was naked and hovering over me, her hair cascading down between us, her milky skin glimmering in the moonlight…
“Sexiest fucking head writer ever,” I said.
She laughed, which was what I’d hoped for. “You’re biased.” She ran her fingers over my unshaven jaw.
“You like me that way.” I kissed her, trying to keep it brief.
“I do,” she said, grinning. “Thank you for everything you’ve done, Cash. The painting, the work around here, the food…the really incredible food…” She laughed again. “You’ve spoiled me and it’s going to suck going back to carryout and frozen pizza.”
I cringed. “I’d send you a good, simple cookbook, but I know better.”
She nodded. “You do.” Her smile faded and she took in a slow breath and blew it out as she glanced around her. The inn was quiet, the only lights coming from the fixture on the porch and the security light in the parking lot. The sky was just beginning to lighten in the east, and a single determined cricket serenaded us from close by. “I’ll miss this place. I’ll miss you.”
“No you won’t,” I said, forcing a smile. “You’ll be too busy to miss me.”
The sound of tires driving down the inn’s road toward us registered. I didn’t bother to turn and look for headlights. Palming the side of her face, I ran my thumb over her lip, then lowered my mouth to hers and kissed her. Not brief. Not chaste. I poured everything I felt for her into that kiss, willing her to feel it, to know she was loved, that she’d always have a place in my heart.
I ended it abruptly so I could escape before the car pulled up.
“Later, Ava,” I said, mindful that we’d agreed we wouldn’t say goodbye. “Safe travels.”
She gazed up at me, her lips pressed together, and merely nodded. Then I turned away, walked to my car, and drove off without a glance back.
Ava
I kept up my strong, happy, going-off-to-fulfill-my-dreams front until I was safely tucked in the backseat by myself.
The timing of Cash’s departure had been ideal, with my ride showing up at just the right moment so I couldn’t watch Cash drive off. But now that I was alone, my throat felt swollen with sadness and my eyes burned and brimmed with tears, the same but different as when I’d arrived at the inn nearly a month ago.
This is totally different, I told myself.That was grief for my aunt. This is just leaving Cash and the inn and everything I’d grown to love. Not grief.
Cash would be here, living his best life, blowing people away with his fantastic cooking. That was exactly what he was meant to be doing, just as writing was my destiny.
Everything was going to plan, both of our plans.
Still, I sort of wished he’d asked me to stay. Both of us knew I couldn’t, but it somehow would’ve made me feel a tiny bit better if he’d asked. Would’ve told me he felt something. More than a little something.
