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“Hey. You didn’t have to come in,” I said. “I didn’t want to make you park.”
He shrugged. “You said you were going to have boxes, so I figured I’d help carry them.”
“Thank you.”
I wound up having eight boxes filled with patient files and notes. So even taking the PATH train would have been difficult, let alone the subway. Holden and I loaded them into the band’s van and got situated in the front.
“Thanks again for picking me up.”
“No problem.” He had his hand on the key in the ignition, but then he stopped and shifted in his seat. “Talk to me before we get on the road. Why did you really go to Owen for a ride instead of me?”
I looked down. “I’ve just been asking you for a lot. I’m like the pain-in-the-butt little sister you never had.”
When I didn’t look up, Holden reached over and put two fingers under my chin. He lifted until our eyes met. “Bullshit. Look at me and tell me you aren’t avoiding me because of what happened between us the other night on the phone.”
When I couldn’t, Holden blew out a jagged breath. He hung his head. “Fuck. I royally screwed up.”
“We’ve already talked about this, Holden. It’s not all on you. I could have hung up. Besides, you’re the one who’s single.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t want to lose you, Lala. I care about you. A lot.”
“You won’t.”
He caught my eyes again. “It feels that way. You can’t even come to me for a damn ride home.”
“I’m sorry. Me not coming to you is more about the stuff going on in my head. It doesn’t have to do with our friendship. Things will go back to normal once I’m not so jumbled. I promise.”
Holden’s shoulders slumped. “Okay.”
He started the van, and we headed back to the City, mostly making small talk. Holden was quieter than he’d ever been and seemed lost in thought. I felt bad about the distance between us, but I decided it was probably a good thing at this point.
When we arrived at the apartment building, Holden double parked and helped me carry up the boxes. After, he said a clipped goodbye, mumbling about how he needed to move the van, but I had a feeling it was more than that.
Hours later, I tried to fall asleep, but my mind wasn’t having it. So I got out of bed, poured myself a glass of wine, and decided to get some fresh air out on the fire escape. But when I climbed through the window, I realized I wasn’t alone.
“Oh!” I froze. “Sorry. I didn’t realize you were out here. I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d get some air and have a glass of wine.”
Holden held up a bottle. “Same.”
“Are you…just drinking it straight from there?”
He took a big swig and looked out over the City. “Yep.”
His tone wasn’t exactly welcoming. “I’ll leave you alone then?”
“Why would you do that when I haven’t left you alone since the minute you arrived in town, Lala…Fa la la la la, la la la la.” He sang that last part to the tune of “Deck the Halls.”
My brows pulled together. “How much of that bottle have you had?”
He brought the top of the bottle to his eye and peered inside. “Enough that I don’t think I can share.”
I laughed. “It’s okay. I poured my own glass. But are you sure you want company?”
“I’d love your company, Laney Jane Ellison.”
I sat down. “Uh-oh. You’re calling me by my full name. I must be in trouble.”
Holden shook his head. “I think I’m the one in trouble. I’ve been a bad boy. A very, very bad boy.”
“What are you talking about?”
He wagged a finger at me. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been with a woman?”
Before I could even answer, he pointed to me.
“Wrong! Longer than that.”
I chuckled. “Dry spell, huh?”
He pointed to his crotch. “He’s lost interest in other women.”
Other women? Holden was at least a little drunk, but it sounded like he was saying the only woman he had an interest in was me.
“How come?”
“How come my dick’s lost interest? Because he’s stubborn. He always has been.” Holden looked up at me. “He wants you more than you can imagine. But don’t worry…” He tapped his pointer to his temple. “I’ve got control of him now. For a while there, things were touch and go about who was steering the ship. But not anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I made him a date.”
I felt panicked. “What?”
“He needs a distraction. Kayla Weathers is one with a capital D.” He snort-laughed. “And she likes the D, a lot.”
My insides were in turmoil. It felt like I’d drunk sour milk and wasn’t sure how things were going to turn out in the near future. The thought of Holden with another woman was crushing, though I knew I had no right to feel like that. I was freaking engaged, after all.
