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Shit. She thought I was doing this because I wanted something. Well, I did. I wanted her to trust me and tell me what was happening at home. At the same time, I had to take a step back and try to see things through her eyes. Her perception was the most important.
I wiped my mouth, my gaze never leaving her. My heartrate kicked up a notch, realizing it was time. It was time to tell her the truth. My truth.
22
Zayne
Maybe I wanted to tell her everything, but I wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear it. Giselle stilled on the blanket, waiting for me to answer.
“I want you to feel comfortable with me, Giselle. I need …” I wiped my mouth, gathering my thoughts as my head swam. “I need to tell you some things.” I glanced out over the water, struggling with where to begin.
“The night at the party, when you died …”Fuck, what was I doing?“I’m sorry that you’re angry with me for saving you.” I wiped my hands with a napkin before I added it to the rest of the trash. “But I’m glad you’re still here.”
Her head snapped around, glaring at me. I’d realized that I would be taking a gamble and could end up possibly pissing her off. Her teeth clenched, the muscle ticking in her jaw.
From the heated glare she was giving me, I was right.
“You know nothing about my life, bodyguard.” Venom laced her words while her eyes narrowed.
She was right, but I had some strong suspicions. “I’m not trying to upset you, Giselle, but there’s something you should know about me.”
Her features only slightly softened, but it was a step in the right direction.
“When you collapsed in front of me, all I could …” I rubbed my chin, Mom’s phone call about Chelsey’s father passing away rushing through my brain. This was fucking hard, but I had to push through. For Giselle. For me.
“What is it?” Curiosity and concern danced across her expression.
I bent my leg and propped my arm on my knee, my mind whirling a mile a minute as the memories slammed into me so hard, I struggled to breathe. I cleared my throat as I recalled the dilapidated structure I’d visited just days ago when I returned to Chelsey’s childhood home for the first time since my world had imploded.
“I was in high school,” I said. “I’d dated Chelsey for three years, and I was in love with her. We had plans to go to college together, get married.” My hand clenched and unclenched, every nerve ending inside me standing on high alert as a rush of emotions unfolded.
“Not many people know this story, so please don’t repeat it.” I looked at her, so she could understand how serious I was.
“I promise,” she said, quietly. Her armor of anger appeared to have slipped away.
“There was no doubt in my mind that Chelsey was the one. She was smart, beautiful, hilarious. No one has ever been able to make me laugh the way she could.” I hesitated. “It was our senior year, days before graduation.” I slammed my eyes closed for a moment.
A soft hand grabbed mine. “Take your time, Zayne. This is clearly difficult for you.”
“It is. I don’t ever talk about it, but it might help if you know.” I took a minute to gather my thoughts before I continued. “Before I went to see her, I stopped by the jewelry store and picked up the engagement ring I’d just bought and had sized for her. Hell, I was so nervous to propose, but I knew my life wouldn’t be anything without her.”
“You’re lucky to have someone that loved you so completely and for so long,” she whispered.
The sadness in her tone squeezed my heart, and I ached to fix it. For the first time, I saw a bit of what was behind Giselle’s fortress. I’d debated all evening whether to share my past with her, but it was serving multiple purposes.
I shifted on the hard ground, my brain sifting through visions of the partially burned home as I spoke. “On the drive to her house, my palms were so sweaty they kept slipping off the steering wheel. I was terrified she would say no. We were young, and had already planned our future together, but she could still say no. In my mind, I wanted the ring on her finger to seal the deal. When I arrived, her parents’ cars weren’t in the drive like usual, but Chelsey’s was parked in front. Before I lost my fucking nerve, I practically jumped out of my Mustang, ran up the stairs to her porch, and let myself in, calling out to her as I did. She was expecting me, I didn’t think anything about just walking through the front door.”
I gulped, reminding myself to breathe. “She didn’t answer, so I hurried up the stairs to the second level where her bedroom was located. I knocked on the door and called her name again. She had a bathroom connected to her room, so I figured she was in there. I let myself in …”
I hopped off the ground and started to pace, the images coming so fast and hard I gasped for air.
“Zayne?” Giselle grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Look at me.”
I turned slowly, not wanting her to see the tormented expression that was most likely on my face. I’d decided to risk being gut-wrenchingly transparent with her, but it was about to destroy me in the process. I hadn’t talked about Chelsey in nearly ten years, and there was a reason why. It fucking devastated me every time.
“You don’t have to say anything more. It’s tearing you up. Some secrets are better kept in the dark.” A sad smile eased across her face, reminding me of exactly why I was sharing this with her.
“I have to.” I gulped. “When I walked into her bedroom.” I blew out a breath. “Her body was on the bed … but … her head was gone.”
