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“I warned you Giovanni,” she said coldly, which I ignored as I gulped down the drink. She only ever calls me by my full name when she is pissed.
“Non stressarti mamma,” I replied coolly, but inside I was cursing myself. The last thing I needed right now was her on my back about Olivia. I was already finding it hard enough to figure out what the fuck was going on with me. I didn’t need her input either. I kissed her cheek as she shot me a look that would have most men quaking in their boots before leaving the room. My stomach grumbled fiercely, and I rolled my eyes. Fuck sake. I’ll have to ask Lucinda to make me a sandwich now. There is no way I am going back there.
A Mother’s Mission
Cecilia
As I watched my beloved son stalk away from me at the speed of light, I dropped my ‘outraged and judgmental’ mother act and my lips curled up into a twisted smile. This was all going swimmingly. Even better than I had hoped. From the eavesdropping I had just done, it was clear to see that Gio was interested in her and she was…putting up a fight, shall we say? I knew from the moment Gio entered my office with a little twinkle in his eyes and a secret smile that morning, that the girl I had been looking for was in that waiting room.
The girl that would save my son’s life.
My son is not a complicated creature, just like many other men, but he is misunderstood. Not only by those around him, but also by himself. He believes he needs to be a certain type of person. A certain man to gain power and respect. To have success. I saw it happening before my eyes. From a young age, my brother-in-law and his uncle, Salvatore, had taken an extra interest in Gio. At any opportunity, I would find him speaking of horrific murders to my infant child like they were trophy stories to be achieved. He would buy Gio the most inappropriate gifts for no reason. After spending any amount of time with Salvatore, Gio would mimic his attitude or the way he spoke. Wanting to be just like him or trying to impress him. Ultimately, his zio was grooming him. But what for, I wasn’t so sure. If Salvatore had any children of his own, the empire would be passed down to them, but he hasn’t. I often spoke of my concerns to my Vinny, but he dismissed it as that’s just the way Salvatore was. That we should be appreciative that he is taking the time to mentor our son who could one day be in charge of our empire if Salvatore never had children of his own. But I hated it. I tried my best to never leave Gio alone with his uncle. Luckily, he had a wonderful, loving papi who balanced him as he grew up. But it never changed the fact that Gio always looked up to Salvatore and wanted to learn from him. But that is not who he is. He is good. He is kind and loving. He is just like his papi. The love of my life.
After the night that turned my world upside down, my boy no longer had that balance in his life. That calm presence who could keep him in check when life turned dark. And it always would in the world we live in. That was inevitable.It’s how you handle the darkness that is your secret power.That’s what my Vinny used to say.
I didn’t want this life. The life of a Mafia wife. But I fell in love. And love does not discriminate or judge. I did my best to understand it. I turned a blind eye when I needed to. I learnt how to grow a thick skin and a backbone so not to be walked all over by the powerful men of the family. I earned their respect slowly and became a useful and vital member of our family. With my law degree, I helped on certain contracts ensuring we were given the best possible deals, which was rare for the Mala Del Brenta. Most women were silent and obedient. Their place was in the home and in their man’s bed. But my Vinny demanded I be given respect. Like I said, he was different.
His death has affected me more than I could ever describe. He was the other half of me. The shore to my sea. Without him, I was drowning. The only man I will ever love. Apart from my children, of course. Which brings me back to why I am doing this. Since his papi’s death, Gio has given himself fully to the pledge of the Buccini regime. He stepped up into Vinny's role as underboss immediately. He never cried or grieved for the loss of his papi. Salvatore made sure there was no time for it. He had a responsibility. An honour bestowed upon him and he must not let his dead papi or supportive zio down. That was how it was sold to him. I have helplessly watched from the side-lines as my son loses himself to the darkness a little more each day. The last two years have made him colder, harder and more ruthless. I know he is still in there from the small moments of affection and pure love he shows me and his siblings, but as Sal works him harder and keeps him out of the house for longer, it is becoming less frequent. He is forgetting how to find any joy in his life, and I fear that he will turn into the clone of his zio. Someone who I despise more than Satan himself.
So, I am desperate. I have watched as Gio fucks numerous women on a weekly basis. They parade in and out of the house in their skimpy outfits and flicks of their sleek hair extensions believing they will be the woman that makes the formidable Giovanni Buccini fall in love. But they never are. They fall at his feet, kissing the ground he walks on. He snaps his fingers and they come flocking. That is satisfying for a man like Gio, but not thrilling. It does not bring him joy. No, he needs chaos. He needs someone strong. Someone who will not bow down to his every need and put him in his place when he is being an ass. He needs someone to make him see that there is so much more to life than deals, money and fighting. He needs a girl to challenge his ego and make him FEEL. Even if it is just pure rage or desire or lust. But I hope eventually he will feel love. That was the girl I was for Vinny and that is the girl I believe Olivia could be for him. I just hope I am not wrong.
Taking careful steps up the first flight of stairs towards the children’s wing, I was surprised to hear nothing but the dull sound of the hoover on Gio’s floor. Marco was not in the corridor and I wrinkled my nose up in confusion. Walking briskly towards the games room, I was proven right when I saw black tape across it like a crime scene and the door locked. Where are they?
Hearing movement behind me, I turned and saw Lucinda, our very diligent and loyal housekeeper, coming down the second flight of steps.
“Ah Lucinda, do you know where the children are?” I asked as she gave me a respectful nod. The woman is about the same age as me, but we have a completely different vibe. I like to try to keep things light and airy but she is always about formality. Perhaps I should demand she get drunk with me one evening to loosen her up a bit.
“Yes Signora Buccini. They are out in the garden, I believe.”
How strange. They hate the outdoors. Making my way out into the extravagant gardens, my heart fluttered and warmed at the sound of innocent laughter and happiness. I followed the noise until I reached the rose gardens and spotted my two darlings kneeling on the grass with Olivia next to them, all shouting and laughing with urgency at something on the floor. Not wanting to disturb them, I watched from behind as Sani suddenly jumped up from the floor, punching the air with his fists. Olivia and Soraya sighed as they lost out on whatever weird game this was, but I smiled when Olivia pinched Raya’s nose playfully to make her smile again.
“What are we celebrating?” I asked, causing them all to turn to me. Soraya immediately got up and came bounding into my arms.
“Mamma!” she yelled, squeezing her chubby arms around my neck. I hated that I couldn’t spend all my time with them like a normal mother should. But the medication I was on made me very drowsy and sometimes my mood swings were unpredictable.
“We were playing bug races and I won! I had the grasshopper, Raya had the il grillo and Liv had the la formica!” I smiled as he bounced from English to Italian with excitement. I hadn’t seen him this lively for ages.
“Ah! Can you remember the English names?” Liv held up her finger to him and he stilled, sucking his lip and thinking hard.
“Cricket and… ants!” he beamed, and she clapped her hands.
“And what do we call this group of bugs?”
“Insects!” Soraya shouted from my arms and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. She barely spoke to anyone apart from her family and never in English.
“Or inv-ir-tbites!” Sani tried to pronounce, and Olivia smiled patiently.
“Yes, insects or invertebrates,” she repeated, and I was speechless. She had spent only two days with my children and they were already outside, learning and having fun, not addicted to a TV screen. How did she do it? I don’t care. Whatever we are paying her, it isn’t enough.
“Mamma, did you know that in-verte-brates don’t have a backbone?” Sani asked, his curious eyes alight with interest. I smiled and ruffled his hair.
“No, I did not. What an interesting fact,” I looked up at Olivia as she stood up from the floor and brushed down her jeans awkwardly. Placing Soraya back on her feet, I asked them both to go and see if they could catch a butterfly while I had a little chat with their nanny. Olivia immediately looked terrified, so I plastered on my most genuine smile.
Once the little bambinis were out of earshot, Olivia immediately started babbling.
“Mrs Buccini, I want to apologise for what you saw in the kitchen. I don’t –“ I held my hand up to stop her.
“That is none of my business. I just came here to invite you to stay for dinner this evening. My daughter is coming home for the night from university, and I would like her to meet you. You are about the same age actually.”
