AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You know what I miss? The world is black and white. This life, especially for Mando and me, we grew up in it. Born into it, which meant we were born into a world painted with millions of greys. Maybe you’re right; maybe the end doesn’t justify the means. I don’t know. I know that we are too deep into it now to change strategy. No one is asking you to like it. I didn’t tell you about Alexis to manipulate you. I just wanted you to know that Armando isn’t going to hurt you. You don’t have to be scared of him…or me.”
“Until one of you kills me,” I challenged.
Maybe they will be great with me for the next nine months, give or take, but that didn’t change the fact that one of them would kill me. Most likely Armando. I was never going to feel safe around him. He was safer than some of the other guards who would be in my life over the upcoming months but never completely safe because he was the man who would kill me.
“Nine months is a long time. Anything could change at a moment’s notice. Focus on the present and not the future, Natalie.” He smiled warmly before turning back to make me something to eat.
It was a line, I knew it was, and yet it didn’t feel like one. It didn’t feel like he was trying to give me false hope or placate me. I didn’t want to hope; that was too dangerous. I had to rely on myself to get out of there and not someone else, especially not one of these men. However, maybe there would be an opportunity presented to me. If I reminded Armando of Alexis, I could play on those emotions. It’s not something I would typically do, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Suppose I exploited that weakness, used it to my advantage, and got closer to Armando. In that case, I might be able to manipulate him into helping me escape. After all, if I play by their rules, the end will justify the means. That’s not the type of person I wanted to be, but if it meant my baby and I would live, then that was precisely what I would do.
Chapter twelve
Armando
I dreaded walking into the house. It was after three in the morning, and I was exhausted and desperately needed a hot shower. Natalie’s father was genuinely shocked when I showed up to kill him. Apparently, he figured that Dom would actually let him go. Dom would allow a loose end to be walking around, one who had proven he would do anything to get out of jail or be killed.
Jake would talk. I had zero doubt about that. The man had begged and pleaded with me to make a deal with him, so I could let him live. He didn’t know that even if I hadn’t been ordered to kill him, I would still have done it. It was bad enough that he gave up his first grandchild, but after learning about what Natalie had been through, and this was her miracle, the fucker had the balls to take that from her. He deserved to die, and I enjoyed every second he was in agonizing pain.
Only now, I was having to potentially see Natalie and pretend like I didn’t just torture her father to death. I couldn’t understand why her opinion of me mattered so fucking much, but it did. I didn’t want her to look at me like I was a monster. I didn’t want her to be scared of me. This was dangerous. I was developing feelings for her, which was a very deadly place to be in.
Normally, I could keep a wall between the women who come and go and me. I was doing this to get justice for Alexis. Dom had forced her into a world of human trafficking; because of all the trauma he had caused her, she was dead and took our baby with her. Dom needed to be killed. This faction of the mafia needed to be taken out. It wasn’t just for Alexis any longer but also for Natalie. She deserved a real chance at life, she and her baby, and I was going to make sure they got it.
After Dom was killed, I would make sure that Natalie was protected. I could hide her away either in the country or in Europe. I would give her a new identity and money to start a new life. I had to get her to hold on long enough to kill Dom.
I walked into the house and scanned the living room for Gabriele or Natalie. It was very late, and I had been hoping she would be asleep. She needed all the rest that she could get. The place was quiet and dark, so everyone must be asleep. I quickly locked up and reset the alarm. Just as I turned around toward the stairs, I saw Natalie coming out of the kitchen with a mug in her hands.
“Oh, my god, is any of that blood yours?” she asked, with a hint of concern in her voice.
I was covered in blood and dirt, but none of it was mine. I wanted to tell her that her father was dead. Typically, I didn’t bother with the other girls in the past, but Natalie wasn’t just any girl. She deserved to know the truth. I hated that it would be another for her to be afraid of me – why she couldn’t trust me. All of this would have been easier if I had just told her I was going to kill Dom and why, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t risk her saying the wrong thing to the wrong person. It would also be too much pressure and stress to constantly worry about what came out of her mouth. Keeping her in the dark was the best chance I had of getting her out of this alive. I just needed to find a way to get her to hold on long enough.
“It’s not mine.”
There wasn’t an easy way to tell her, so I decided not to tell her. After all, it’s not like I could pull her in for a hug and comfort her. I was the enemy in this scenario, and that was not about to change.
“Is it my father’s?”
I remained silent. For some reason, I didn’t want the words to come out of my mouth.
Hurt flashed through her eyes and then acceptance, which happened much quicker than I had anticipated.
“I figured he would be killed. I knew it was only a matter of time since my mother's death. I figured a loan shark would get him or he’d be in a drunken brawl one night. It’s not really a shock, and I’ve been emotionally and mentally preparing for it over the past few years. Plus, he’s the reason I’m even in this position in the first place. Makes it kinda hard to feel sad and hurt by his death.”
“I can understand that. His death may hit you later. Despite what he has done, especially recently, that doesn’t change the fact that he was your father…that you grew up with him in your life. I am sure there had to be a moment or two that made up good memories.”
I didn’t want her to feel bad and grieve the loss of her father. I didn’t think he deserved it. However, I also didn’t want her to bottle it all up and ignore the pain. She had a right to be furious with him for her situation. She had a right to still love him and grieve the loss. He had been in her life for twenty-seven years, a long time to not have developed a love for him.
Even my own father had put me through hell to prepare me for this life, and I still felt hurt and depressed when he died. It was human nature, and she should allow herself to feel it at some point. It wasn’t my place to push her, though; I knew I was the last person she would want to speak with about this. Not only because I was one of the men keeping her here, but I had been the one to kill him.
“I’m sure there is, but all of the bad memories overshadow the good. Maybe that will change one day,” she said with a slight shrug.
“You feeling ok? I would have figured you’d be asleep long by now.”
“I fell asleep early, woke up about an hour ago and thought some tea might help to put me back to sleep. I’m feeling anxious, well, not really anxious. I guess unsettled would be more accurate. This house, it’s beautiful, but it’s not home.”
A lot of the girls had gone through this. The house had its positives and it was fun to be in for a while. It was a lot like a vacation, but after a while, you just wanted your own bed.
