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Though she knew she shouldn’t do it, that everything was wrong about it, she couldn’t help herself, needing this moment to be indelible, fixed in her mind. Perhaps it was the pain, the wistfulness, and the loss that she needed to feel at this moment. But still, even then, she wanted him.
Oh, God, how she wanted him!
As Max was fond of saying though, wanting something and having it be the right thing for you—the right thing for anyone—weren’t always the same.
That didn’t stop her though, in a moment of frustrated selfishness, from lingering in this moment for just a few seconds more. She eased the blanket off of his hip down, his thigh just enough. Then she saw it. His cock, soft and yet just as beautiful. Maybe she could touch it one more time. Could she suck him one last time, even just a little?
He stirred then slightly, as if her thoughts and the turmoil of her emotions were disrupting his sleep cycle. Maybe part of him, that spiritual element of him that she knew was hopelessly entwined with hers, perhaps that part knew what she was doing. What if it was crying out, trying desperately to wake him, in the vain hopes that he could stop her?
The tears were coming fast and hard now, and she tried desperately to stay quiet, sobs threatening, and she knew at that moment that the last thing that she needed to do was to wake him. It would only make this more painful.
Looking upon him one more moment, she stroked his thigh, then bent down and impressed her lips to his soft warm cock, the familiar mouthwatering scent of him all around her. “Goodbye, Uncle Max,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.”
Then she slipped from his darkened bedroom, wiping the tears from her eyes, even though more flooded forth to take their place, the pain almost drowning her now. Down the stairs she went, too distraught to care about the snaps and cracks of the risers as she fled.
At the front door, she turned one last time, looking back, taking in the beauty of the house, feeling that twisting, aching pain, of what might have been, of what should have been.
But it was not to be. It could not be.
Arlen, just as kind as she remembered him from the first time she’d met him, helped her pack everything into the trunk, then ushered her into the warm, dark back seat.
Mercifully, he didn’t let the car linger long in front of the house, as if he knew every second delayed would make her crying even worse. He pulled the car up the drive to the entrance to the highway. He hit the gas, and the car climbed the final step onto the roadway. Then he slammed on the brakes, Kelsey almost flying from her seat. A roaring sound went by, a huge riot of lights on the highway, the sound of a semi’s horn fading as it sailed past receding into the darkness, leaving the car shaking slightly in its wake.
“Christ,” Arlen muttered under his breath. “That almost happened the last time I was here. When I left from dropping you off, the road makes that turn, then dips. Cars just come flying up that thing, almost blind. Damn near took me out then, too.” He looked back at her, concern knitting his brow. “You all right?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m okay. Just… please take me home, Arlen.”
He gave her a sympathetic nod, and even in the dark of the car’s interior, she could see how bleary-eyed he was. She guessed her dad had shelled out a pretty penny to get Arlen to come out there so early in the morning—and on such short notice.
Though her heart was pounding, her mind was already back in the house she’d just left, with the sweet, wonderful man whose heart she was breaking.
She spoke the words silently, the same words she’d written for him on the note she’d left in the kitchen for him:
I know I’m a terrible person for doing this, but it’s the only way.
I’ve screwed things up enough. It’s time for me to fix what I’ve broken.
I know my dad. If I don’t go, you’ll lose your best friend. I just can’t live with that, Uncle Max, knowing I caused that.
I’ll tell him you sent me away, that you made me see reason.
This is for the best, no matter how much I don’t want to do this. Please understand.
And if you ever think of me, I hope it makes you smile.
Your Kelsey girl
And then her tears became a deluge.
Chapter 24
Though she hadn’t realized it at the time, she really had missed the sorority. But even with the welcome feeling she experienced, the kind words, good-natured jabs, and promises of future fun to be had by all, being embraced by her sisters paled now.
It just wasn’t the same, now that she’d tasted what was possible with the right man.
“You know… Jake Whitley was asking about you yesterday,” Amber said, pushing her salad around on her plate with a fork. “Do you remember him?”
Kelsey stared out at the early evening backyard, lightning bugs just beginning to make themselves visible against the backdrop of the lush green of the trees. “Is he the track guy, or the crew guy?”
