AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I put a hand to my hair, touching the gray and grimaced. If I thought Merlin was a disappointing priestess, then how much more disappointing would I be one day with not even an inkling of power and none of her majestic beauty.
Merlin’s chanting grew a little louder but the words were still nonsense to me. Would I really have to memorize all of this? I was not looking forward to it.
If only the rites and rituals of the temple had more to do with the martial activities I enjoyed learning from Sir Ector. If only my father had decreed his daughter would not be queen but the leader of his armies and a great knight instead.
But that would mean actually asking what I wanted. It would mean that he had cared about my desires, my thoughts, my feelings.
And as Arthur and I knew well, he never had.
With a splash the contents of the silver flask poured into the empty bowl and erupted into flame.
Merlin’s arms lifted in the air and as she held them high, the fire followed, encircling her in a burning blaze.
From where I stood, it looked magnificent. It was certainly enough to impress the average citizen.
She stood within the flame, completely shielded from its heat.
This, we were to understand, was magic.
But to me, it was simply showmanship. A cheap trick to impress those who already believed.
I saw nothing of the divine here.
Oh, I respected the traditions. I would pour the libation when I had to. I would chant the incomprehensible words.
But I felt nothing. Certainly not impressed.
Simply empty and apart from it all.
Finally the flames fell, Merlin let her hands drop.
She turned to face me and with surprise I saw her eyes were heavily dilated. The eleusia had affected her in a way it had not done with me. I wondered why.
She stepped past me, and pushed open the door. I followed her through the outer chamber, then through a side door and into the light.
We were in a different space, one reserved for those in service to the temple. It was quieter here. Covered walkways with arches and columns lined a wide square courtyard. In the center, lay a garden with clusters of trees, fragrant flowers, and herbs surrounded by a low stone wall.
I watched Merlin take a deep breath and shake her head. Was she trying to clear it of the eleusia? I wondered, fascinated.
Slowly, she made her way into the center of the garden and sank onto a bench as if suddenly weary. A group of nearby acolytes who had been sitting on the grass reading some scrolls rose to their feet and scurried away. She smiled after them. Clearly she knew the impact of her presence.
“Someday this will be you, Morgan,” she said, looking up at me. “Frightening the children away.”
“I believe I have had a head start at that,” I said, wryly, pointing to my hair.
She gave a peal of laughter that rang out like the deep chime of a bell.
“What nonsense,” she protested. “Anyone frightened away by an odd shade of hair is...” She stopped.
For a moment I wondered why. Then I remembered the part-fae boy and the sight of his blue-tinged features as his head rolled across the stones of the Great Hall.
A frown crossed her face, then vanished.
“I cannot remember a time I did not feel I belonged in this place,” she murmured, changing the subject. “But I know the same is not true of you, though I wish it was. I wish... I wish you could find the same peace I have found here.”
I felt her eyes on me and studied the grove of trees. They were cedar, I believed. Their scent was lovely.
“You must have hopes and dreams of your own. To have to put those aside, to forswear marriage, children, a home of your own... It must be very difficult,” she added.
