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Two things about his response were a problem. The first one being that it was completely out of line and abusive. The second was, for some reason, my body hated me and tingled in areas it had no business reacting. Because of the second thing, I didn’t say anything. I was afraid of my voice.
“Now,” he said, “be a good girl and come here.”
He was continuing to be degrading, and my traitorous body was continuing to react to it.
I took a step closer and kept my eyes on Jinx. I trusted Jinx. He and I had a bond. He was just big. Much bigger than Sunshine. However, right now, I needed to focus on something other than Blaise Hughes.
Jinx moved his head to meet my hand, and I smiled, relaxing some from the tension that Blaise’s words had coiled inside of me. Maybe the best thing to do was get on with this lesson and focus on learning how to ride. Then, Blaise would go away, he’d stop making my body turn on me, and I’d get on with my life.
Blaise moved in close enough behind me that I could feel the warmth from his body. I stiffened in response, and my hand paused on Jinx’s neck. Jinx sensed my change, and he danced slightly on his feet.
“Easy,” Blaise said in a low voice. “He can feel your emotions. You need to stay calm.”
I closed my eyes tightly. “I was fine until you got in my personal space,” I replied through clenched teeth.
His hand touched my right side, and I pulled my hand away from Jinx, stepping back so my sudden rush of anxiety wouldn’t startle him any more than I had already. Blaise’s other hand grabbed my left side and held me firmly.
“This isn’t calm, Madeline,” he said so close to my ear that his breath heated my skin.
I shivered and immediately hated myself for it.
“Stop touching me.” My words came out in a ragged breath.
Blaise’s hands tightened their grip, and he pulled my body with one swift tug until my back was pressed against his front. His breathing was heavy as his chest rose and fell. We stood there for a moment, saying nothing. I wasn’t sure if I could move. My legs didn’t feel very steady.
“Your nipples are so fucking hard that I can see them through your shirt,” he said as he moved a hand from my waist to my stomach. “You sure you want me to stop touching you?”
I was struggling to breathe. Talking wasn’t something I could manage. Not yet. I had to get control of myself. But with his body rock hard against mine and his palm flat on my stomach with his thumb almost caressing the bottom of my right breast, it was hard to do that.
“That’s better,” he whispered. “Sweet and obedient.”
His hands fell away, and I swayed slightly.
“Time to get you on a horse,” Blaise informed me as he walked over and opened Jinx’s stall.
I didn’t move. My head was still spinning.
Blaise glanced back at me over his shoulder. “Lesson number one,” he began. “Don’t get distracted.”
Eighteen
Blaise was an excellent teacher. I wanted to hate him for it. He was arrogant. He was cold. He was beautiful. I could hate him for those three things, if nothing else.
Only once did I notice Saxon while I was out in the lower round pen with Jinx and Blaise. Once I was on the back of Jinx, I found all my attention was focused on not falling off. My trust in Jinx was tested at first, but he seemed to understand my nervousness. He was attentive to my commands, and I relaxed quickly.
Blaise helped me dismount and had me lead Jinx to the stables. No more inappropriate things were said, and he hadn’t touched me again. Relief that he would be leaving and I would have time alone to brush Jinx and start my chores had me smiling as I walked back to the stall.
I heard one of the jockeys call out Blaise’s name, and I didn’t look back to see if he stopped or not. I continued on, not needing any direction on how to do the next few steps. Hopefully, Blaise would get busy and leave without my having to speak to him. He had said something about teaching me to trot in my next lesson, but he hadn’t said when that would be.
While I got Jinx settled in his stall, I praised him for being such a good boy. I liked riding. There was something about it that made me feel centered. Even while the rest of my life was unsure, I had felt as if all was right when I was up there on his back.
I wondered if my mother had felt that way.Was that why she had loved to ride?
Patting Jinx’s side, I stepped around him and out of the stall to go get his brush. He deserved some pampering after all that. I was almost to the tack room when Blaise walked into the stables. His eyes swung from Jinx’s stall to me. I waited to see what he had to say in hopes that he’d say it and leave.
I shifted my feet when he didn’t speak, feeling nervous under his quiet stare. He started walking toward me, and I forced myself not to watch him. It was hard. Unfortunately for females, he was nice to look at.
“You did good,” he said to me before stopping only inches from me.
