AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Moving to the chair in front of Dad’s desk, I drop down and continue the conversation, knowing he’ll just ignore me until I go away. “I need all the players to show up at the pep rally tomorrow.” Mostly I mean Cade, but I’ll leave that out for now. Dad will likely protect his prodigy.
“We’ll try. The first game is tomorrow night so there’s a lot going on.” Dad presses a few buttons on his phone then holds it to his ear for a minute. “Cade isn’t answering. I was counting on you, Morgan. How did you just let him run off not knowing if he’s injured or not?” Dad taps the glass screen of his phone a few more times as he adds, “Hopefully Crawford will do the smart thing and get checked out.”
“Yeah. God forbid the football god be less than tip-top for his big return to the game.”
That gets Dad’s attention. “It’s his first time in a game in three years,” he intones, finally glancing my way. “It is a big deal for all of us. We’ve worked hard to make sure he’s ready to get back out there. And a little support from you shouldn’t be too much to ask.” Dad shoves up from his chair and hurries out the door as he adds, “If you hear from Cade, let me know ASAP.”
“Whatever,” I mumble and stay in the chair. This office isn’t my fave place, but it’s better than being in a classroom right now. Maybe if I sit here long enough, I can figure out why throwing around a ball is so important to my dad and why nothing else compares.
* * *
The band starts playing while I lead the team in our coordinated pom routine as Principal Thatcher announces, “Give a big welcome to this year’s varsity Wildcats!” Someone should really tell the prick that there’s no need to yell when he’s using a damn microphone, but he goes at it again. “Mighty, mighty Wildcats, let’s roar!” Again, what the fuck does my mom see in him? If she’s gonna fuck around, at least make it make sense.
The idiots around the gym aren’t helping as they shout and yell to encourage the moron to keep going. He starts into some wanna-be motivational speech, but I only focus on one Wildcat. And he’s doing everything in his power to avoid looking my way, which gives me too much gratification. Especially when it’s time for us to take center stage. We do a cheer and the crowd’s energy remains electric as I move to Thatcher and unhand the mic from him.
“Let’s give the team one more cheer because we need them to beat the Oilers tonight. And it’s all on Cade Crawford to lead the Wildcats to victory.” I peek to the side and give him a smile. “And we know he won’t let us down.” I make my way over to him, grab his hand, and guide him to the center of the gym. I keep my hold on Cade but feel him trying to pull away discreetly.
“What the hell are you doing?” he mutters for only me to hear.
I response in a hushed whisper, “Being your good luck charm.” I hear a few mumbled curses from him as I lift the mic back up and speak. “We all know how these football guys have their superstitions. Well, I happen to know Cade has never stepped onto the field without a good luck hug from his mom. And since she’s not here to do it for him, I figured I’d be the one to wish him good luck.”
It takes one second to register the fury flowing off of him as I lean over and hug him. I hold the mic back up and say “Good luck, Boo-Boo Bear” before leaning forward to place a kiss on his cheek.
Every muscle in his body is tense, constricted under my touch, and I’m anticipating him exploding in anger. But he doesn’t. He remains solid as a stone statue while the crowd booms around us. Thatcher walks over and takes the mic back so he can go over a few quick reminders about the game tonight before the band strikes up the Wildcat fight song.
Since the band usually only plays that song after a touchdown, I shift over to whisper-yell in Cade’s ear, “Doubt we’ll be hearing that much tonight.”When I move back, his blazing eyes are locked with mine, but he still doesn’t say a word. I stand there, remaining in a stare down with him.
He probably thinks this is the worst part of the day. But it’s only gonna go downhill from here. I know he’s not been on the field since his mom bailed. And tonight he’ll face that head-on, and I’ll be sure to remind him at every turn how he’ll never be good enough to carry this team, or my dad’s championship dreams, on his shoulders. He will fail. I’ll make sure of it.
17
CADE
I thought the ride to the country club that day was the worst. I was wrong. Because steering towards the school and keeping my truck pointed in the correct direction is harder. I know there’s nothing good that awaits me—win or lose—and my loyalty to my brother is hanging on by a thread considering I haven’t been home in days because of the son of a bitch I’d be sharing air with. I knew Dustin was the nice one between the two of us, but I hadn’t realized exactly how much of a pushover he truly is. I wouldn’t have an ounce of guilt letting my father sleep under the nearest overpass.
Sadly, my truck pulls into the student lot way too soon. It’s hours before the game, but I’m already done. Looking down at the place, Morgan’s vile face swarms my mind. Part of me doesn’t want to give in because she’ll know she’s won. But fuck. I’m ready to just let her have it and take the L. I know I can’t compete with that queen of the underworld. But I’d hoped she’d get bored with me quickly. But from her torment and going after Neil, I worry she’s just getting revved up.
Grabbing my bag, I head to the locker room, thankful to avoid the fire-breathing bitch. Once I arrive at my locker, I realize I’ve not gotten away from her and probably never will. My locker is decorated with green and gold sparkly shit and a handwritten note that saysNothing will stop Boo-Boo Bear!To anyone else, it’s a sweet, encouraging message. To me, it’s a bleak sentiment that the snake purposefully spewed in an attempt to throw me off. Morgan knows it’s the last thing my mom said to me, her final parting words when she dropped me off at practice. What a bitch. Balling the paper up in my fist, I toss it to the side, not giving a fuck where it lands. One day I’m gonna lose it and tell her exactly what to do with her torment. But the more I react, the harder she’ll push.
I pull on my pads and uniform then drop down onto the metal bench nearby, leaning against the lockers as the other players laugh and joke around. They’re my teammates but I’ve never felt so out of my element as I do in this moment.
“Crawford, we’ve got this!” Topher hoots from across the room, jogging my way as he holds up his fist and waits for me to return the gesture. After a moment when I don’t, his hand falls to his side. “Come on, bruh. This is the beginning of our perfect season.”
“And what if it isn’t?” I already know the answer. Then the buddy act will drop real fast. But he doesn’t say that and instead sits beside me, slinging an arm over my shoulder as he says, “Then we enjoy the ride we get.”
The ride I’m on feels like an old wooden coaster that hasn’t been operational in nearly twenty years, only now it’s on fire too. And as much as I try, I can’t get a good grip on the ride’s course, am unable to predict the dips. Fuck.Don’t puke, Cade.That would not be a great start to my first time back on the field. At least for a legit regulation game. I’ve played a few games here and there over the years but nothing that actually mattered. Those were for fun. They didn’t remind me of my mom. Fuck. I’m gonna puke.
Leaning forward, I drop my head between my shoulders and take a deep breath.It’s just a fucking game. It’s just a fucking game.Repeating the mantra in my head doesn’t help. Because this has nothing to do with the game, nothing to do with winning or losing. It has everything to do with what I never wanted to think about again. The moment I realized Mom was gone and never coming back.
Shoving off the bench, I head out the door and into the hallway that leads to the gym. No matter which direction I go, it feels like it will be the wrong one.
“Cade.” I turn to see Neil slowly approaching me. “Hey, are you all right?”
“Yes.” I swipe a hand over my face and rub the sweat off my forehead. “Yeah. I’m good.”
“I know it’s none of my business, but you can talk to me if you want.” Neil hesitates for a second before he continues, “Between the game and what Morgan did at the pep rally, I know it can’t be easy.”
I stay silent and watch as he becomes more uncomfortable. I’ve talked about my mom with him very little—or with anyone for that matter—but he knows the bullet points. “I’m good. It’s a lot of bullshit for something that doesn’t even matter.”
