AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“It matters, Cade.” Neil’s tone is filled with sincerity.
He really is a great friend that I don’t appreciate enough. “Thanks, man. I’m good. Really.” At least I will be. Because I won’t let my mother or Morgan derail what I need to accomplish. This game is not a must in my world. But right now, it feels more like I need to prove to myself that I can do this above all else.
“Well, I’m gonna help get the hydration station set up. If you need anything, I’m the dude to see. Water, juice, Gatorade, Wildcat Fuel that tastes like chalk. Just let me know.”
I actually let out a genuine chuckle and take a second to see how truly happy Neil is. Hopefully he gets to enjoy it and no one—namely Morgan—ruins that for him. Neil is almost through the locker room door before he turns around and comes back out, stopping a few feet away from me.
“If it’s not a beverage and you just need to talk, I’m still your guy. It wasn’t right what she did to you. Your mom, I mean. She shouldn’t have left you. It was a selfish choice, but if I’m totally honest with you, there is part of me that is selfish too. Because I can’t help but think that if she hadn’t left, we wouldn’t be friends. You would’ve stayed being a jock and never would have wandered in the bio lab to hide out all those times.”
All I can do is nod. Because I’d never thought of it that way. Life would be so much different had Mom stayed. I can’t be positive, but I’m almost certain I would’ve kept playing ball and continued dating Morgan. Neither of those things have been a part of my life since my mother left. And for a few seconds, I’m grateful for her walking out of my life too. She freed me of her and of what a psycho Morgan would become. No, she hadn’t been that person years ago. But there had to be something malevolent deep within her even then. Because you don’t do and say the things that she does if you’re a decent human being.
But there is definitely a silver lining, and he’s named Neil. A smile rises on my face as I think of the kid who’d kept working on his science experiment, ignoring me for the first few weeks, before finally asking me if I wanted to hear about it. I didn’t. But I did want to be his friend. And now he’s my best friend.
Pushing off the wall, I suck up the pity I feel for myself and channel it into anger to fuel my determination on the field and crush this damn game. My mom can leave me. Morgan can torment me. But neither can control me unless I allow them, so they both need to get the fuck out of my head.
I’m mostly able to keep them out after that. There were a few seconds when we ran out of the tunnel where I caught sight of Morgan lined up with her minions as they cheered us on. But after that flash of the demon, I turn my back to her, my mind focused. Every urge I have to search her out is resisted. I don’t know why I feel the need to locate her position. There’s not any good reason, other than I want to get a feel of where she is and make sure she’s not sneaking up behind me to put a knife in my back.
But once I’m on the field for the coin toss and the opposing team calls heads, they lose as the coin lands on tails. We opt to defer, and I note that my mind stays on topic better than I expected.
Lenny kicks to the Oilers and they get the ball on the fifteen-yard line, but their quarterback isn’t able to match our defense and fails to gain the first down. Once they punt it to our receivers, it’s time for me to take the field. The noise level of the stadium heightens as our offense takes the field. We get in our formation as the play clock winds down. The snap is made with seconds left. The ball barely touches my fingers before I hand it off to Topher, who gains three yards. It’s progress. Not enough but something.
The next play will be the real test. The one where I’ll see if I can do this. The one that’ll set the pace for my season. Because it’s the first pass I’m throwing in a legit game. If it’s intercepted or misses my target completely, the botched play will be on my mind every single throw afterwards.
Zulich hikes the ball to me and my fingers cling to it as I shuffle a few steps back, scanning where the receiver should be. And he is there, being covered one-on-one by a defense player.
It’s now or never, because I can feel the defensive tackles closing in, my linemen can only protect me for a limited time. My arm works almost of its own accord, releasing a pretty spiral in a practiced fluid motion. The speed and aim look good as it flies through the air. Topher moves slightly to his right and catches the ball then brings it to his chest as the Oiler’s cornerback wraps his arms around him, and they both go out of bounds at the thirty-two-yard line.
We’re still in Wildcat territory but we got the first down. I hit the intended target. That’s all I needed. We quickly move to the line of scrimmage and our center snaps the ball. I fake a handoff to Becks before shuffling back to get a view of the field. The play was for me to hit Smith who’s around the fifty-yard line. But Topher is wide open, deep in Oiler territory.
Go for it, Crawford.Why the fuck not? I can do this shit. I walked away from this game, but the game is the only thing that never let me down. Seconds later, the ball is out of my grip and gliding down the field. It’s a little overthrown, but Smith reaches up as he jumps into the air, his hands gripping the ball before pulling it down. Securing it in his elbow and holding it against his chest, he takes off running. There’s a guy on his heels, but he’s too fast. Smith’s in the end zone before the Oiler’s safety can stop him.
Touchdown. Three downs into the damn game and the fight song is blaring through the stadium as the crowd shouts and claps for us.
Jogging off the field, I pull my helmet off as I make my way to the sideline. This is the moment I can’t resist any longer and search her out. The squad is doing a coordinated dance to the fight song, which Morgan said we wouldn’t hear much. And she doesn’t seem happy to be proven wrong as she stands unmoving, a pissy glare pinned on me, while the others perform around her. If being good at ball pisses her off, I might enjoy playing this damn game the rest of my life. But I still would rather avoid the vixen at all costs. But I can’t help but rub this moment in a little deeper. Lifting my arm, I clench my fist, raising only my index finger as I move it in a circular motion.
Yep. She remembers. But to my surprise, she’s not pissier from the gesture. Instead, there’s genuine shock covering her face for a few seconds before she’s able to slide her bitch mask back into place. It might not have been the wisest move since it doesn’t mean shit now. But it meant something back then. And now I know for certain there’s something in that black soul of hers that can be reached. But I can’t be the one who captures it. Because I might’ve just signedforeverto her. But there’s nothing ahead for us together. Not now, not ever, much less forever.
18
MORGAN
“What’s your problem?” my brother asks as we walk up to Neil’s house. The party is already in full swing, and most of the school is celebrating the big win. One that was way too easy for Cade to claim. He looked like a natural. In his element. And he’d felt it too. Why else would he have done that goddamn signal to me? The one that used to actually mean something. Now he’s using it to taunt me and that pisses me the fuck off.
“I’m fine. Just ready to get a fucking drink.” And dish out a little return torment to the dickhead who I know will be here at his little friend’s house.
“Yeah. Okay.” Ryder laughs. “I’m going to meet Harrison by the pool. Try not to get into too much trouble, I’d like to enjoy at least a few minutes with him before all hell breaks loose.”
A real smile rises on my face as I study my brother and realize it’s the first time he’s admitting that he’s been talking to Harrison. I’d noticed signs that they’d hit it off after my matchmaking skills helped him out at Crescent Fleur, but Ryder has yet to mention anything directly to me. “You’re welcome by the way.”
“I never said thank you.” Ryder lifts his finger and flips me off. “But I might be a little grateful for the initial icebreaker.”
“Like I said, you’re welcome.”
“Like I said, I never said thank you, so don’t meddle again, Morgan, or I might have to do the same and get involved with you rekindling things with Crawford.”
“Yeah. That’s under control but there’s no rekindling shit.”
“Alrighty.” Ryder chuckles as we make our way into the house, heading for the kitchen. “Speak of the devil.” When Ryder does some friendly fist-bump-handshake thing with Cade, his name goes right to the top of my shit list for fraternizing with the enemy. He’s not supposed to be friendly with the prick, but I might be able to use that to my advantage later. It still annoys me though.
